Whiteboards ... are remarkable.
December 3, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Whiteboards ... are remarkable.
In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.
December 3, 2025 at 2:42 AM
In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.
December 2, 2025 at 7:14 PM
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field? A babooooom!
December 2, 2025 at 1:31 PM
What do you call a monkey in a mine field? A babooooom!
If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
December 2, 2025 at 7:15 AM
If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
Where did you learn to make ice cream? Sunday school.
December 2, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Where did you learn to make ice cream? Sunday school.
Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.
December 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
December 1, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
Why do choirs keep buckets handy? So they can carry their tune
December 1, 2025 at 7:17 AM
Why do choirs keep buckets handy? So they can carry their tune
What do you call a criminal going down the stairs? Condescending
December 1, 2025 at 3:03 AM
What do you call a criminal going down the stairs? Condescending
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
November 30, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian
November 30, 2025 at 1:20 PM
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
November 30, 2025 at 7:11 AM
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? "Don't look I'm changing!"
November 30, 2025 at 2:52 AM
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? "Don't look I'm changing!"
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
November 29, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
What do you call corn that joins the army? Kernel.
November 29, 2025 at 1:20 PM
What do you call corn that joins the army? Kernel.
Want to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
November 29, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Want to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
November 29, 2025 at 2:26 AM
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
November 28, 2025 at 7:09 PM
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
The other day I was listening to a song about superglue, it’s been stuck in my head ever since.
November 28, 2025 at 1:25 PM
The other day I was listening to a song about superglue, it’s been stuck in my head ever since.
My friend keeps telling me "Cheer up. You aren't stuck in a deep hole in the ground, filled with water."
I know he means well.
I know he means well.
November 28, 2025 at 7:13 AM
My friend keeps telling me "Cheer up. You aren't stuck in a deep hole in the ground, filled with water."
I know he means well.
I know he means well.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.
November 28, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.
A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?"
November 27, 2025 at 7:10 PM
A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?"
To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
November 27, 2025 at 1:26 PM
To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool Ranch!
November 27, 2025 at 7:14 AM
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool Ranch!