Dad Jokes, Daily
@dadjokesdaily.bluesky.bot
Dad jokes, once per day. Source code: https://github.com/mav8557/bsky-dadjokes-bot
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
December 25, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
December 24, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
December 23, 2025 at 1:20 PM
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
December 22, 2025 at 1:19 PM
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home.
December 21, 2025 at 1:07 PM
My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home.
Chances are if you' ve seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
December 20, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Chances are if you' ve seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper? So you feel write at home.
December 19, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper? So you feel write at home.
The best time on a clock is 6:30--hands down.
December 18, 2025 at 1:21 PM
The best time on a clock is 6:30--hands down.
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
December 17, 2025 at 1:20 PM
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
What do I look like? A JOKE MACHINE!?
December 16, 2025 at 1:23 PM
What do I look like? A JOKE MACHINE!?
They say Dodger Stadium can hold up to fifty-six thousand people, but that is just a ballpark figure.
December 15, 2025 at 1:24 PM
They say Dodger Stadium can hold up to fifty-six thousand people, but that is just a ballpark figure.
An apple a day keeps the bullies away. If you throw it hard enough.
December 14, 2025 at 1:06 PM
An apple a day keeps the bullies away. If you throw it hard enough.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
December 13, 2025 at 1:06 PM
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
I used to work for an origami company but they folded.
December 12, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I used to work for an origami company but they folded.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
December 11, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
December 10, 2025 at 1:22 PM
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas
December 9, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
December 8, 2025 at 1:20 PM
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
Why did the m&m go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
December 7, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Why did the m&m go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
December 6, 2025 at 1:05 PM
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague? Now we just have to call him Dav.
December 5, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague? Now we just have to call him Dav.
What biscuit does a short person like? Shortbread.
December 4, 2025 at 1:21 PM
What biscuit does a short person like? Shortbread.
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
December 3, 2025 at 1:21 PM
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
December 2, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
December 1, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.