it's something like "if you like pain, I can do that, if you like to give pain, do I look so fragile to you?" and it straight up had me fall out of my chair

I do think it's a good thing if cis women want to fuck around with T though. Anything that means they have to keep making it and my transmasc sibs can get hold of it easier.

actually, I'm not done yet. Once you get to his later chats this is so obviously him trying to rationalize that if someone as horrible as Ballas is capable of love, then surely he is too. Whether he's capable of loving and being loved is such a big recurring theme in his chats.

He absolutely does, I think that's canon in some scenes.

also
roathe: Ballas was a horrible person but I believe what he felt for Margulis was genuine
the fandom: he says Ballas was good and not abusive at all

He's got a line that only appears if you're dating Lyon that p much confirms he's a switch!