The Daily Orb
@dailyorb.bsky.social
The Realm's #1 Source for Arcane News.
Scrying the Past, Present, and Future since the dawn of the First Age.
Scrying the Past, Present, and Future since the dawn of the First Age.
Scandal Erupts as Senator Discovered to Have Levels in Rogue
March 15, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Scandal Erupts as Senator Discovered to Have Levels in Rogue
Completion of Level 1 Quest met with Polite Applause from Jaded Townsfolk
March 15, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Completion of Level 1 Quest met with Polite Applause from Jaded Townsfolk
Great Old Ones File for Pension, Benefits
March 14, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Great Old Ones File for Pension, Benefits
Search for Prophesized Heir Continues as DNA Tests Show 78% of Realm is Descended from King Harold the Horny
March 14, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Search for Prophesized Heir Continues as DNA Tests Show 78% of Realm is Descended from King Harold the Horny
Goblin King Rebrands from "Despicable Tyrant" to "Loathsome Despot"
March 13, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Goblin King Rebrands from "Despicable Tyrant" to "Loathsome Despot"
World Safe for 500 More Years as Slumbering Elder Gods Hit Cosmic Snooze Button, Planets Un-Align
March 13, 2025 at 11:00 AM
World Safe for 500 More Years as Slumbering Elder Gods Hit Cosmic Snooze Button, Planets Un-Align
Province to Repeal Death Penalty, Banishment to Netherhells
March 12, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Province to Repeal Death Penalty, Banishment to Netherhells
Ancient Lost City Uncovered by Adventurers, Immediately Misplaced Again
March 11, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Ancient Lost City Uncovered by Adventurers, Immediately Misplaced Again
Senator Comes Down Hard on Roadside Bandits: "If anyone is going to steal from my constituents, it's me."
March 11, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Senator Comes Down Hard on Roadside Bandits: "If anyone is going to steal from my constituents, it's me."
Real Estate Insider Blames Housing Shortage on Ghosts — "Everything is f*cking haunted."
March 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Real Estate Insider Blames Housing Shortage on Ghosts — "Everything is f*cking haunted."
Local Princess has Literal Fairy-Tale Wedding, Is Turned into Mouse and Trapped in Tower
March 10, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Local Princess has Literal Fairy-Tale Wedding, Is Turned into Mouse and Trapped in Tower
Local Shocked to Learn 405-Year-Old Mayor was Vampire All Along
March 9, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Local Shocked to Learn 405-Year-Old Mayor was Vampire All Along
Word on the Street: "It seems like every year the poor get poorer, and the lich get licher."
March 9, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Word on the Street: "It seems like every year the poor get poorer, and the lich get licher."
Local Cave More Haunted than Ever, Definitely Not Full of Gold, says Dwarven Mining Consortium
March 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Local Cave More Haunted than Ever, Definitely Not Full of Gold, says Dwarven Mining Consortium
"I have never not backstabbed my allies as soon as it benefited me." — The Goblin King
March 8, 2025 at 10:00 AM
"I have never not backstabbed my allies as soon as it benefited me." — The Goblin King
High Temple Distributes Holy Symbols to Protect Citizens from Devils, Undead, Lawyers
March 7, 2025 at 5:00 PM
High Temple Distributes Holy Symbols to Protect Citizens from Devils, Undead, Lawyers
Rivers Run Red and Are As Blood, Vampire Populace Overjoyed
March 7, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Rivers Run Red and Are As Blood, Vampire Populace Overjoyed
Council of Wizards Waterboard Member for Lack of Pointy Hat, Cite "Drip or Drown" Policy
March 6, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Council of Wizards Waterboard Member for Lack of Pointy Hat, Cite "Drip or Drown" Policy
Wizard Council Admits They Could Solve "Most Global Problems" Except It's More Fun to Have Sick-Ass Magic Duels and Turn into Snakes and Stuff
March 6, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Wizard Council Admits They Could Solve "Most Global Problems" Except It's More Fun to Have Sick-Ass Magic Duels and Turn into Snakes and Stuff
Talos-Nationalist Group Takes Over School Board -- Promises to Remove Critical Elf Theory From Schools
March 5, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Talos-Nationalist Group Takes Over School Board -- Promises to Remove Critical Elf Theory From Schools
"Honestly I prefer to feed on preppy chicks. The goth ones are just TOO into it, you know? Weirds me out." — Count Sanguini
March 5, 2025 at 11:00 AM
"Honestly I prefer to feed on preppy chicks. The goth ones are just TOO into it, you know? Weirds me out." — Count Sanguini
Elder Brain Re-Elected to Senate In Unanimous, Well-Synchronized Vote
March 4, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Elder Brain Re-Elected to Senate In Unanimous, Well-Synchronized Vote
Wizard Council Runs out of Colors, Resorts to Ice Cream Flavors — "This is Horsehit," says New Inductee Midas the Mint-Chocolate-Chip
March 4, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Wizard Council Runs out of Colors, Resorts to Ice Cream Flavors — "This is Horsehit," says New Inductee Midas the Mint-Chocolate-Chip
Local Soundcloud Artist Without Rhythm Fears No Sandworm
March 3, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Local Soundcloud Artist Without Rhythm Fears No Sandworm