Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 7h

I ordered Pigs in a Blanket, but they brought me Rhubarb in a #Raincoat. I broke out in hives—not like honeybees in a maximum-security bee prison, but red bumps on my skin. I think it was the latex in the meal. It reminded me of the rhubarb they served in prison, which always gave me hives.

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 11h

Three raccoons in a #raincoat,
five minks with stoles.
One mink's stole was stolen; clouds took toll—
rain reigned down, drenched them whole.
Fur clumped and tempers bold,
minks popped umbrellas to fend off cold.
Then those damned beavers, damned and sly,
raised the rates of power supply.

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 13h

#Skeletal remains—
when ev'rything else decays,
stays behind, composed.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 13h

Roosters and #raincoats,
three kettles of fish;
no red meat was added
to this fine, seasoned dish.

If you crave something different,
some new kind of taste,
be patient—don’t hurry,
no moment’s a waste.

Come back again,
when there’s time to play;
I’ll save you a bowl
for the next rainy day.
#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 14h

Beneath the lime lies the #sublime. Beneath that, the sub-sublime—the nerve centre of the Subsubliminal Empire.

The Subliminarchs' motives are as murky as the sediment above. These Underlords of Lime are clever—deeply, absurdly clever, in ways that only the depths can fathom.

#blueskyrelay #scifi

Kunal 🌅 @poetickunal.bsky.social · 23h

Hello, seekers of wonder! 🏔️✨

The #BlueSkyRelay #prompt for 11 October 2025 is #Sublime 🌠

If you'd like to take over and host the relay the week after me, please don't hesitate to reach out!

#writingcommunity #micropoetry #poem #poetry #poetrycommunity

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 14h

The quantum #fields are
where we watch the particles
spin and dance and wave.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Dr. Duncan P. Dour, in his tireless pursuit of the #Verve Quotient, worked with the grim determination of a man attempting to capture a sunbeam in a thunderstorm—with a lightning bottle. His proto-laboratory—a converted glitter-bomb shelter beneath a cupcake shop—sparkled with optimism.

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

I often stay up late at night and wonder if Cheetos are packed in more Cheetos. I don't stay up that late—maybe nine or ten. I also wonder what would happen if I did stay up late, like ten-thirty or eleven. I'd probably have another one of those Cheetos hallucinations. I should stop eating in bed.

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

Today’s #vssdaily word is #leather; thus, I offer this attribute, humbly set forth as a proper #vssdaily tale for the occasion. It is, I assure you, the truth—and should I speak falsehood, may these weathered, leathern hands be stitched and bound in #leather itself. But not too tight.

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

Hand-stitched, leatherbound—
in stitched #leather hands are bound—
what’s made learns to bind

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

It could be four cheese pizza rolls, and that's hearty enough for any, I say. I add only this: be wary of the sodium count. Right now, there's only one sodium, because I check the Periodic Table, periodically, and the last time I checked, sodium was only up there once.

#writing #verse #banter

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

The liberated teen tossed his graduation cap skyward, declaring emancipation from high school. Two hours later, he declared himself a #libertine of leisure—wine replaced with energy drinks, orgies with video game marathons. Freedom was unlimited access to TikTok and four-cheese pizza rolls.

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

Hand-stitched, leatherbound—
in stitched #leather hands are bound—
what’s made learns to bind

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

#Canadian #geese
patrol the great northern skies—
moose ready their charge.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

Hades stirs his tea,
storms brew in Stygian #haze.
He adds more sugar.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

The liberated teen tossed his graduation cap skyward, declaring emancipation from high school. Two hours later, he declared himself a #libertine of leisure—wine replaced with energy drinks, orgies with video game marathons. Freedom was unlimited access to TikTok and four-cheese pizza rolls.

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 3d

Curdle Dee and #Curdle Dum
mixed chocolate milk with navy rum—
explaining, in one full sentence clear,
the hasty end to their bartending career.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 3d

When the rent cheque bounced,
she tripped and fell—owing to
a lack of #balance.

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #WriteSky #writing

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 3d

Each week, a new #ghost;
each time, a mask-wearing crook—
except… that one time.

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #WriteSky #writing #scoobydoo

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

When the bivalves become bipedal, run!

And when a giant clam is closing fast, that's its shell—not just shutting, but snapping with kinetic intent, like a bear trap built by Poseidon. The giant clam isn't getting closer. It can't close fast. Holy shit, the giant bipedal bivalve is closing fast!

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

I remember the clam trap trope from the #comics, but not Aquaman.

#Aquaman would've said something to the giant clam, and it would've groaned and opened—but you caught a glimpse of a giant pearl... and now it's closing back up.

"My leg — it's caught! Some kind of... clam? It's closing — fast!"

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

This is a classic clam trap trope. Tridacna gigas is the giant clam that clamps shut on the diver's foot; the hero usually has to jam in a spear made of coral or use their puny blade.

Greg, I told you—if you need to pry your leg out of a giant clam with only a diving knife, go with the USN Mark V.

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

I remember the clam trap trope from the #comics, but not Aquaman.

#Aquaman would've said something to the giant clam, and it would've groaned and opened—but you caught a glimpse of a giant pearl... and now it's closing back up.

"My leg — it's caught! Some kind of... clam? It's closing — fast!"

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

This is a classic clam trap trope. Tridacna gigas is the giant clam that clamps shut on the diver's foot; the hero usually has to jam in a spear made of coral or use their puny blade.

Greg, I told you—if you need to pry your leg out of a giant clam with only a diving knife, go with the USN Mark V.

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 6d

When the #Costco crate clamped on my #beard, I was immediately transported back to the time when a giant Tridacna gigas performed a similar act of intimacy upon my right leg in the Bismarck Archipelago.
The natives called it "The Mouth of God," though at the time I had less theological appreciation.

1

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

This is a classic clam trap trope. Tridacna gigas is the giant clam that clamps shut on the diver's foot; the hero usually has to jam in a spear made of coral or use their puny blade.

Greg, I told you—if you need to pry your leg out of a giant clam with only a diving knife, go with the USN Mark V.

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 6d

When the #Costco crate clamped on my #beard, I was immediately transported back to the time when a giant Tridacna gigas performed a similar act of intimacy upon my right leg in the Bismarck Archipelago.
The natives called it "The Mouth of God," though at the time I had less theological appreciation.

2

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

I refused the lands because lands require stewards,
and stewards use titles,
and titles make one stand out,
which would suit me ill.

Thus I refused the lands to avoid the stewards,
the stewards to avoid the titles,
the titles to avoid standing out—
which ill suits me perfectly.

2/2 #vssdaily

7

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

Why did you refuse the lands and title? The Queen's offer was generous. By royal #grant they were offered, and by common sense, should have been accepted.

I refused the title
because titles make names longer than they need be,
and they make one stand out,
which suits me ill.

1/2 #vssdaily #vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

How did you manage to eff this up? The plan was ineffable—ineffable—and yet somehow, you made it effable. One of the greatest eff-ups of all time. I can’t think of another occasion when an #ineffable strategy was so thoroughly effed that it redefined the very concept of ineffability.

#blueskyrelay

4

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

They're selling #relics
splinters of the one True Cross
sin now, pay later.

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #WriteSky #writing

7

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4d

Stairs into #avoid
my descent into madness
abysmal missteps

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #WriteSky #writing

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