Audrey Hoaxburn
@dallin-h-hoax.bsky.social
🥇Voted horniest ExMo on twitter,🥇EXMO MARCH MADNESS CHAMPION - the shit poster formerly known as Dallin H. Hoax. 🧦 Tube sock blaster 🧦 I love UTCHDORF, Johnny Depp, Karen Gillan, and Janelle Monae. I realize you’re all only here for Mud 🐶 content
Pinned
What’s the over/under on how long until maduro can buy a pardon?
January 4, 2026 at 1:14 AM
What’s the over/under on how long until maduro can buy a pardon?
I’ve said this before but it bears repeating - I’ve been on dating apps so long I will recognize women in group photos on other women’s profiles and think - ‘oh Lacie is friends with Samantha huh? That’s interesting.’ - all complete strangers to me
January 3, 2026 at 3:14 PM
I’ve said this before but it bears repeating - I’ve been on dating apps so long I will recognize women in group photos on other women’s profiles and think - ‘oh Lacie is friends with Samantha huh? That’s interesting.’ - all complete strangers to me
So many women (conservative and liberal) say this. It makes me wonder how many men’s profiles say -
‘I’m looking for a feminine woman, who knows how to submit and lets me lead.’
‘I’m looking for a feminine woman, who knows how to submit and lets me lead.’
January 3, 2026 at 2:58 PM
So many women (conservative and liberal) say this. It makes me wonder how many men’s profiles say -
‘I’m looking for a feminine woman, who knows how to submit and lets me lead.’
‘I’m looking for a feminine woman, who knows how to submit and lets me lead.’
I miss Mud 😭 (I’m at work 😞)
January 2, 2026 at 10:21 PM
I miss Mud 😭 (I’m at work 😞)
My dad and his wife want to set me up with two different women in their ward and every time this happens I’m like ‘don’t they want someone they can go to the temple with?’
January 2, 2026 at 10:18 PM
My dad and his wife want to set me up with two different women in their ward and every time this happens I’m like ‘don’t they want someone they can go to the temple with?’
I’d rather get married in the temple Amanda. You heard me.
January 2, 2026 at 5:45 AM
I’d rather get married in the temple Amanda. You heard me.
Yeah, ask the Mormons how their youth retention rates are
December 24, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Yeah, ask the Mormons how their youth retention rates are
If only capitalism was as effective at distributing wealth as it is creating it 😢
December 23, 2025 at 2:00 AM
If only capitalism was as effective at distributing wealth as it is creating it 😢
Which begs the question - how many genZ woman have been approached in public?
Apparently 45% of GenZ men have never approached a woman in public
December 18, 2025 at 10:48 AM
Which begs the question - how many genZ woman have been approached in public?
Apparently 45% of GenZ men have never approached a woman in public
December 18, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Apparently 45% of GenZ men have never approached a woman in public
Funny how so many Mormon men think they’re addicted to porn when they’d have a much easier time doing a moratorium on porn than sugar
December 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Funny how so many Mormon men think they’re addicted to porn when they’d have a much easier time doing a moratorium on porn than sugar
Funny how my maga brother in law who’s always talking about how people just milk social systems had no problem ordering the $70 steak at The Roof when my father was picking up the tab.
December 15, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Funny how my maga brother in law who’s always talking about how people just milk social systems had no problem ordering the $70 steak at The Roof when my father was picking up the tab.
Just had a family dinner at The Roof restaurant and couldn’t help but notice because of the construction at the temple there are port a potties on the temple roof so if you work construction you could literally shit on the temple right now
December 13, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Just had a family dinner at The Roof restaurant and couldn’t help but notice because of the construction at the temple there are port a potties on the temple roof so if you work construction you could literally shit on the temple right now
Imagine trying to buy an anniversary gift for her
December 13, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Imagine trying to buy an anniversary gift for her
Just like Jesus’ truck would have
December 12, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Just like Jesus’ truck would have
I can’t tell you how many conservative women on dating apps say they’re looking for kindness in a partner
. . . but apparently not a president
. . . but apparently not a president
December 11, 2025 at 7:54 AM
I can’t tell you how many conservative women on dating apps say they’re looking for kindness in a partner
. . . but apparently not a president
. . . but apparently not a president
Dating in Utah
December 8, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Dating in Utah
What the fuck Lizzie ?!?!!
December 6, 2025 at 5:18 AM
What the fuck Lizzie ?!?!!
As a native Utahan, in the 10 years I’ve been on dating apps, I CANNOT BELIEVE this is the FIRST TIME I’ve seen a tanning bed pic
December 4, 2025 at 4:05 PM
As a native Utahan, in the 10 years I’ve been on dating apps, I CANNOT BELIEVE this is the FIRST TIME I’ve seen a tanning bed pic
Ok so I’m not actually trying very hard
December 4, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Ok so I’m not actually trying very hard
I will vote for you and get back in the kitchen = princess treatment
November 27, 2025 at 5:56 PM
I will vote for you and get back in the kitchen = princess treatment
MY NEPHEWS GOT A PICTURE WITH THE SILVER FOX
November 27, 2025 at 6:11 AM
MY NEPHEWS GOT A PICTURE WITH THE SILVER FOX
“It’s ok to kill Senator Kelly because his medals were messy” - MAGA Republicans
November 26, 2025 at 1:08 AM
“It’s ok to kill Senator Kelly because his medals were messy” - MAGA Republicans