He listens to whoever the last person he spoke to is and we rarely try simply being that person

There is already a party that is giving bigots everything they want; they've got it all locked up. Anyone so devoted to their bigotries that they hold their votes contingent over it is going to vote for that party.

Differentiate to win.
Don't differentiate to lose.

This is very simple marketing.

The good news is we don't have to make these trades. Just nominate somebody willing to stand up for everyone. Not just because it's the right thing to do; it's a much more compelling message. It's a *winning* message. Trans people would very much like to beat Republicans; they're telling you how.

You might not like it that trans people aren't willing to sacrifice themselves but a lot of them (and many allies) won't. You can't say you don't accept people holding their votes contingent; that's exactly what the transphobes who you're trying to win over by appealing to their bigotry are doing.