Hey
@danillama.bsky.social
It's way easier to blame shift onto women, to suddenly do a 180 and claim you are somehow a victim, to silence through intimidation, or to gaslight than it is to own up to the fact that you feel incredibly ashamed. Or to face the ways you need to change.
January 21, 2026 at 6:15 PM
It's way easier to blame shift onto women, to suddenly do a 180 and claim you are somehow a victim, to silence through intimidation, or to gaslight than it is to own up to the fact that you feel incredibly ashamed. Or to face the ways you need to change.
(2) reckoning with the shame of being part of a group which throughout history and contemporary times has (and continues to) exploit, kill and mass rape the female half of the planet while normalizing it is a tough pill. Especially while claiming proudly to be "protectors"...
January 21, 2026 at 6:14 PM
(2) reckoning with the shame of being part of a group which throughout history and contemporary times has (and continues to) exploit, kill and mass rape the female half of the planet while normalizing it is a tough pill. Especially while claiming proudly to be "protectors"...
I am also sort of sure that part of why narcissistic personality disorder and avoidant attachment styles are more often diagnosed in men is because (1)
January 21, 2026 at 6:14 PM
I am also sort of sure that part of why narcissistic personality disorder and avoidant attachment styles are more often diagnosed in men is because (1)
Suddenly they have to figure out who they are beyond "provider" and how to attract women when they're equals instead of semi-sex slaves. I'm not entirely disparaging romance and marriage, just the power structures which hinder our collective ability to thrive as rounded beings.
January 21, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Suddenly they have to figure out who they are beyond "provider" and how to attract women when they're equals instead of semi-sex slaves. I'm not entirely disparaging romance and marriage, just the power structures which hinder our collective ability to thrive as rounded beings.
Because if women's work becomes valued fiscally then patriarchal society has to reckon with the negative emotions and loss of control that comes with that. We're already seeing the effects of women's economic emancipation on the male population. Their sense of identity becomes confused.
January 21, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Because if women's work becomes valued fiscally then patriarchal society has to reckon with the negative emotions and loss of control that comes with that. We're already seeing the effects of women's economic emancipation on the male population. Their sense of identity becomes confused.
Most of all, we shouldn't be ok letting ourselves be treated poorly. The trouble is a lot of us have an easier time standing up for hypothetical others than we do ourselves.
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Most of all, we shouldn't be ok letting ourselves be treated poorly. The trouble is a lot of us have an easier time standing up for hypothetical others than we do ourselves.
Because if they do it to you you can bet your ass your children would be subject to it too. If they're doing this fuckshit a few months in, imagine how they'd be after decades of marriage... The early stages are supposed to be their best foot forward.
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Because if they do it to you you can bet your ass your children would be subject to it too. If they're doing this fuckshit a few months in, imagine how they'd be after decades of marriage... The early stages are supposed to be their best foot forward.
Who holds far more financial and social capital/influence of the two. And why do you think that is. Abuse requires power imbalance. It requires control and it crushes the spirit of those under the abuser’s foot so they struggle to get away. Abusers are often charismatic and image-aware.
November 7, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Who holds far more financial and social capital/influence of the two. And why do you think that is. Abuse requires power imbalance. It requires control and it crushes the spirit of those under the abuser’s foot so they struggle to get away. Abusers are often charismatic and image-aware.
Look also at WHO IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM WHOM. (Survivors run.) Who “make amends” or sending third parties over to smooth their own bs over? Overwhelmingly it’s abusers who try to “repair” a relationship so they can repeat the cycle that’s been going on for ages AGAIN.
November 7, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Look also at WHO IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM WHOM. (Survivors run.) Who “make amends” or sending third parties over to smooth their own bs over? Overwhelmingly it’s abusers who try to “repair” a relationship so they can repeat the cycle that’s been going on for ages AGAIN.