Any self-absorbed asshole can set himself on fire and jump off a bridge but kissing a king cobra on the head is truly impressive af, well done David Blaine!

Sometimes I love my dog so godddam much I have to be careful not to Lenny him, like when John Malkovich pets all the rabbits to death in Of Mice and Men bc he doesn’t know his own strength

Chris Farley had two brothers in David Lynch's The Straight Story. They played the twins that fixed his lawn mower. TIL

Hi honey sorry I cheated on your mom and had a baby with some other lady. Here, let me make it up to you, you can be the new lead singer of Nirvana!

We didn't start the fire
It was burning when we got here
We voted for Reagan
We didn't start the fire

hamm the wet sprocket

Hello Bleu sky friends. Thank you for having me. Here is a stock photograph of a baby with a couple #crayons up his nose.