DarkEsq
LightNews LightNews
banner
dark-esq.bsky.social
DarkEsq
@dark-esq.bsky.social
12 followers 77 following 230 posts
darkesq.com the official home of lawyers who just want to be free to speak freely without being disbarred.
Posts Replies Media Videos
dark-esq.bsky.social
"attorney personality types as coffee orders"

litigation: black coffee, no nonsense. corporate: oat milk latte, trying to be...

https://darkesq.com/b/memes/cmlbr9kky0033106w1vrh374q
February 16, 2026 at 1:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"Just found out my client has been lying to me for 2 years"

employment discrimination case. client told me they were fired...

https://darkesq.com/b/horror/cmkratttc003f8giazk8kswug
February 16, 2026 at 12:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"client brought his "emotional support parrot" to our meeting"

bird kept interrupting. literally squawking "OBJECTION"...

https://darkesq.com/b/clients/cml92bdh40007z55nudvq5iml
February 16, 2026 at 11:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"we both submitted the exact same brief. different clients. word for word."

https://darkesq.com/b/opposing/cmld5mh7y000zjyg2lb0zi40l
February 16, 2026 at 10:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"opposing counsel brought a therapy dog to mediation"

not a service dog. a therapy dog. for him. said negotiations stress...

https://darkesq.com/b/opposing/cmlbqkkbb000t9l5kr9c5mgl8
February 16, 2026 at 9:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"just fired my worst client. office feels lighter."

constant calls. questioned every decision. late payments. threatened...

https://darkesq.com/b/solo-life/cmlb0uvcq0017kfa91u8vtht2
February 16, 2026 at 8:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"first year just asked what "work life balance" means. i couldnt answer."

she was sincere. she wanted to know. i opened my...

https://darkesq.com/b/biglaw/cmlbr9kj10017106wcg68iedg
February 16, 2026 at 7:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"firm added a barista bar. billing requirement went up 100 hours."

they announced it like a gift. "free coffee drinks all...

https://darkesq.com/b/biglaw/cmlb0uvco0013kfa9w1cvnze3
February 16, 2026 at 6:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"had to explain to the jury what a meme is. took 45 minutes."

key evidence was a meme. juror age range 55-80. explained...

https://darkesq.com/b/courtroom/cmlbqkkce001r9l5k1lajas3p
February 16, 2026 at 5:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"power went out mid-trial. judge finished closing arguments by flashlight."

https://darkesq.com/b/courtroom/cmlb0uvcu001fkfa915yml1qq
February 16, 2026 at 4:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"shared office with another solo. we refer each other cases. beautiful system."

https://darkesq.com/b/solo-life/cmlbqkkc2001h9l5k2ee2qm4n
February 16, 2026 at 3:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"magistrate quoted legally blonde during oral argument"

hair case. product liability. she said "as elle woods once noted,...

https://darkesq.com/b/judges/cmlbqkkal00099l5k22x3b5o9
February 16, 2026 at 2:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"client asked if we could have court at his house because he doesnt like driving"

https://darkesq.com/b/clients/cmlbqkkb1000l9l5k300akdc3
February 16, 2026 at 1:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"opposing counsel quoted himself in his brief. cited his own blog."

footnote 47: "see [his name], Thoughts on Contract...

https://darkesq.com/b/opposing/cmlb0uvcg000nkfa9jjguoaka
February 16, 2026 at 12:00 AM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"what age did you start feeling like a real lawyer?"

im 8 years in. still feel like im pretending. still expect someone...

https://darkesq.com/b/off-topic/cmld5mh9n002xjyg2tztyhfsj
February 15, 2026 at 11:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"defendant fell asleep during his own trial. jury was watching."

drug case. he nodded off during the officers testimony....

https://darkesq.com/b/courtroom/cml92ijbu0017112p1ko82hwl
February 15, 2026 at 10:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"deposition went 14 hours. no breaks. witness was filibustering."

every question. 20 minute answer. rambling. tangents....

https://darkesq.com/b/horror/cmlbqkkdd002j9l5ko6fb47oo
February 15, 2026 at 9:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"calculated my true hourly rate after expenses. considering uber."

gross revenue looks good. then subtract overhead. rent....

https://darkesq.com/b/money/cmlbqkkco001z9l5kgo2rzuo9
February 15, 2026 at 8:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"stalker client showed up at my house. with flowers."

found my address somehow. rang the doorbell. holding roses. "i just...

https://darkesq.com/b/horror/cmld5mh9l002vjyg2tzd1tdbk
February 15, 2026 at 7:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"been opposing this guy for so long we finish each others objections"

seven years same jurisdiction. he starts "objection,...

https://darkesq.com/b/opposing/cmld5mh810013jyg23zjziah5
February 15, 2026 at 6:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"found out my star witness has 14 felony convictions. day before trial."

how did i not know. how did my investigator not...

https://darkesq.com/b/horror/cml92ijc7001v112ppcuhreoc
February 15, 2026 at 5:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"client brought her entire family to a simple will signing"

mom, dad, three kids, two in-laws, a cousin, and someone she...

https://darkesq.com/b/clients/cmld5mh7g000fjyg2fukwc5wv
February 15, 2026 at 4:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"dating as a lawyer is impossible"

cancel plans constantly. talk about work too much. argue about everything. analyze...

https://darkesq.com/b/off-topic/cml92ijcc0025112pzajhpgjd
February 15, 2026 at 3:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"finally broke 200k this year. still cant afford a house in my city."

made partner. hit the milestone. tried to buy a house....

https://darkesq.com/b/money/cml92bdhy000xz55nezjej4zn
February 15, 2026 at 2:00 PM
dark-esq.bsky.social
"lawyers with adhd: how are you surviving"

deadlines help. until they dont. hyperfocus is great. until its on the wrong...

https://darkesq.com/b/off-topic/cmlbr9kkq002v106w6ggqdbip
February 15, 2026 at 1:00 PM