I watched Good Fortune today and it was decent obviously Keanu was the highlight of the movie but I don't know if Aziz Ansari has just gotten old or if he is more annoying now but I just can't stand him anymore and I used to love him.

This sign by my grandma's house cracks me up

Bout to go to Sikeston and see my grandma and tear up an XL at Imos

Here's a haiku I wrote on the toilet after I fell asleep watching Suicide Squad and woke up and had to pee

Villains on the screen,
Sleep steals the chaos away—
Night calls, softly, “go.”

Damn they got my boy whatd he do

Being a stay at home dad was so ridiculous of a though in the 80s they made a whole comedy movie about it

My wife says I forget a lot so I looked up Alzheimers symptoms and all the links are purple

Fun WWII logistics fact: A British soldier was rationed 3 sheets of toilet paper a day. An American GI got 22 sheets.

Me when I answer my daughters special Ed homeschool questions

I'm trying to curate an audience of only cool people so if you're cool follow me

I got banned on this subreddit for this literally nobody can take a joke anymore

I got poison ivy and literally don't even go outside