I can’t remember, did anyone tel Prince Charming that a kiss would wake up sleeping beauty?
or was he, just like, a perv in the forest?
or was he, just like, a perv in the forest?
January 8, 2025 at 9:49 PM
I can’t remember, did anyone tel Prince Charming that a kiss would wake up sleeping beauty?
or was he, just like, a perv in the forest?
or was he, just like, a perv in the forest?
Whenever life seems hard, I remember playing grand theft auto vice city with cheat codes, and how boring it got.
When what you want is too easily achievable, it’s no longer worthwhile
When what you want is too easily achievable, it’s no longer worthwhile
December 29, 2024 at 9:54 PM
Whenever life seems hard, I remember playing grand theft auto vice city with cheat codes, and how boring it got.
When what you want is too easily achievable, it’s no longer worthwhile
When what you want is too easily achievable, it’s no longer worthwhile
Peter Parker should be thankful he wasn’t bitten by a radioactive sloth
December 23, 2024 at 7:12 PM
Peter Parker should be thankful he wasn’t bitten by a radioactive sloth
If you flip over an upside-down cake, does it become an upside down upside-down cake, or just cake?
December 19, 2024 at 12:08 AM
If you flip over an upside-down cake, does it become an upside down upside-down cake, or just cake?
People are always afraid when society collectively accepts a new idea or group of people.
“It’s a slippery slope”
Then, sheesh, put on some hiking shoes
“It’s a slippery slope”
Then, sheesh, put on some hiking shoes
December 15, 2024 at 10:07 PM
People are always afraid when society collectively accepts a new idea or group of people.
“It’s a slippery slope”
Then, sheesh, put on some hiking shoes
“It’s a slippery slope”
Then, sheesh, put on some hiking shoes
If magic was real people would call you a nerd for knowing it just like with science
December 14, 2024 at 7:43 PM
If magic was real people would call you a nerd for knowing it just like with science
I wish I lived my life the same way I make my Sim live theirs.
Spend 14 hours practicing art, 2 writing a hit novel, and win all friends by telling the same stupid joke until they like me.
Spend 14 hours practicing art, 2 writing a hit novel, and win all friends by telling the same stupid joke until they like me.
December 14, 2024 at 5:26 PM
I wish I lived my life the same way I make my Sim live theirs.
Spend 14 hours practicing art, 2 writing a hit novel, and win all friends by telling the same stupid joke until they like me.
Spend 14 hours practicing art, 2 writing a hit novel, and win all friends by telling the same stupid joke until they like me.
There are only two kinds of people in this world:
People who fit into my arbitrary non-inclusive solution set, and people who don’t satisfy the criteria I chose to fit into that solution set.
Don’t let anyone tell you different
People who fit into my arbitrary non-inclusive solution set, and people who don’t satisfy the criteria I chose to fit into that solution set.
Don’t let anyone tell you different
December 13, 2024 at 7:09 PM
There are only two kinds of people in this world:
People who fit into my arbitrary non-inclusive solution set, and people who don’t satisfy the criteria I chose to fit into that solution set.
Don’t let anyone tell you different
People who fit into my arbitrary non-inclusive solution set, and people who don’t satisfy the criteria I chose to fit into that solution set.
Don’t let anyone tell you different
If your jaw doesn’t physically hurt after eating a bagel, you’re hitting up the wrong spot
December 13, 2024 at 6:20 PM
If your jaw doesn’t physically hurt after eating a bagel, you’re hitting up the wrong spot
Are we sure North Dakota exists? I’ve never met anyone from there, or hear anything happening there.
Very suspicious
Very suspicious
December 12, 2024 at 6:31 PM
Are we sure North Dakota exists? I’ve never met anyone from there, or hear anything happening there.
Very suspicious
Very suspicious
This last week my ear just stopped working.
Stuff like that just happens when you reach 30 I guess
Stuff like that just happens when you reach 30 I guess
December 10, 2024 at 7:26 PM
This last week my ear just stopped working.
Stuff like that just happens when you reach 30 I guess
Stuff like that just happens when you reach 30 I guess
When you steep leaves it results in tea. If coffee beans are seeds, does that mean steeping any roasted seeds produced, other coffees?
Get on it food scientists 🥽🧪☕️
Get on it food scientists 🥽🧪☕️
December 10, 2024 at 1:39 AM
When you steep leaves it results in tea. If coffee beans are seeds, does that mean steeping any roasted seeds produced, other coffees?
Get on it food scientists 🥽🧪☕️
Get on it food scientists 🥽🧪☕️
Life is what happens while you’re waiting for Netflix to buffer
December 8, 2024 at 6:05 PM
Life is what happens while you’re waiting for Netflix to buffer
I’m a genius writer, musician, and philosopher who can change the very foundation of the society I live in.
I just haven’t decided to start really trying yet… also I’m tired.
I just haven’t decided to start really trying yet… also I’m tired.
December 8, 2024 at 4:37 AM
I’m a genius writer, musician, and philosopher who can change the very foundation of the society I live in.
I just haven’t decided to start really trying yet… also I’m tired.
I just haven’t decided to start really trying yet… also I’m tired.
Santa Clause knows who’s been naughty or nice, but lets our justice system try and figure it out ourselves.
It’s like taxes all over again 😡🗂️
It’s like taxes all over again 😡🗂️
December 7, 2024 at 4:24 PM
Santa Clause knows who’s been naughty or nice, but lets our justice system try and figure it out ourselves.
It’s like taxes all over again 😡🗂️
It’s like taxes all over again 😡🗂️
Is it just me or did they get really lazy when naming some of the clue pieces?
“We’ve got Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock. What do we call the green and white pieces?”
“I’m tired Anthony”
“We’ve got Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock. What do we call the green and white pieces?”
“I’m tired Anthony”
December 7, 2024 at 2:37 PM
Is it just me or did they get really lazy when naming some of the clue pieces?
“We’ve got Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock. What do we call the green and white pieces?”
“I’m tired Anthony”
“We’ve got Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock. What do we call the green and white pieces?”
“I’m tired Anthony”
The Marketing team over at Play Doh really dropped the ball.
Make it fun to play with AND fun to eat. Then they’ll have to buy more!
Make it fun to play with AND fun to eat. Then they’ll have to buy more!
December 6, 2024 at 6:44 PM
The Marketing team over at Play Doh really dropped the ball.
Make it fun to play with AND fun to eat. Then they’ll have to buy more!
Make it fun to play with AND fun to eat. Then they’ll have to buy more!
If I had the power to control time, I’d just use it to take naps
December 6, 2024 at 12:13 AM
If I had the power to control time, I’d just use it to take naps
I wish I could just put all my problems in the freezer.
Alas, if I did they would taste soggy when I microwave them later
Alas, if I did they would taste soggy when I microwave them later
December 5, 2024 at 7:55 PM
I wish I could just put all my problems in the freezer.
Alas, if I did they would taste soggy when I microwave them later
Alas, if I did they would taste soggy when I microwave them later
So behind on work I’m in that headspace where it seems like getting in a terrible accident could solve all my deadline problems.
“Sorry I didn’t get that report it…”
“Oh fooey! You were in a skiing elephant accident, you just focus on getting well”
“Sorry I didn’t get that report it…”
“Oh fooey! You were in a skiing elephant accident, you just focus on getting well”
December 4, 2024 at 5:47 PM
So behind on work I’m in that headspace where it seems like getting in a terrible accident could solve all my deadline problems.
“Sorry I didn’t get that report it…”
“Oh fooey! You were in a skiing elephant accident, you just focus on getting well”
“Sorry I didn’t get that report it…”
“Oh fooey! You were in a skiing elephant accident, you just focus on getting well”
Adulthood is sitting on a cat litter bag as you wait for an uber to pick you up from Walmart because you felt productive and clean the litter box but you forgot there was no more littler and the car is in the shop because it was all rumbly and now you have to go get litter at 9pm
December 4, 2024 at 3:20 AM
Adulthood is sitting on a cat litter bag as you wait for an uber to pick you up from Walmart because you felt productive and clean the litter box but you forgot there was no more littler and the car is in the shop because it was all rumbly and now you have to go get litter at 9pm
I’m not trying to be {insert bad thing to be here}
But {insert thing that, when inserted, makes me be the bad thing to be here}
I’m just being honest (I’m being bad)
But {insert thing that, when inserted, makes me be the bad thing to be here}
I’m just being honest (I’m being bad)
December 3, 2024 at 11:01 PM
I’m not trying to be {insert bad thing to be here}
But {insert thing that, when inserted, makes me be the bad thing to be here}
I’m just being honest (I’m being bad)
But {insert thing that, when inserted, makes me be the bad thing to be here}
I’m just being honest (I’m being bad)
Working an online job, mental health has become the #1 limiting factor for how much work I can get done.
This is a long winded way of saying cherry spice scented candles are the new water
This is a long winded way of saying cherry spice scented candles are the new water
December 3, 2024 at 6:59 PM
Working an online job, mental health has become the #1 limiting factor for how much work I can get done.
This is a long winded way of saying cherry spice scented candles are the new water
This is a long winded way of saying cherry spice scented candles are the new water
New Story idea: Captain Liter Rally, Pirate on the seven seas.
This week: our beloved Captain kidnaps Buzz the beekeeper, planning to abscond with his eyeball.
Will our Captain Liter Rally find the value in the eye of the bee holder?
Stay tuned to find out! 🐝
This week: our beloved Captain kidnaps Buzz the beekeeper, planning to abscond with his eyeball.
Will our Captain Liter Rally find the value in the eye of the bee holder?
Stay tuned to find out! 🐝
December 2, 2024 at 6:51 PM
New Story idea: Captain Liter Rally, Pirate on the seven seas.
This week: our beloved Captain kidnaps Buzz the beekeeper, planning to abscond with his eyeball.
Will our Captain Liter Rally find the value in the eye of the bee holder?
Stay tuned to find out! 🐝
This week: our beloved Captain kidnaps Buzz the beekeeper, planning to abscond with his eyeball.
Will our Captain Liter Rally find the value in the eye of the bee holder?
Stay tuned to find out! 🐝
Why can’t I just be a famous, recognized figure with lots of friends without having to do anything or talk to anybody.
I’m great you guys, just take my word for it.
I’m great you guys, just take my word for it.
December 1, 2024 at 10:00 PM
Why can’t I just be a famous, recognized figure with lots of friends without having to do anything or talk to anybody.
I’m great you guys, just take my word for it.
I’m great you guys, just take my word for it.