🤖 at least partner has been caring and showing that he does lately. a great ray of sunlight in an otherwise dark time. really happy and grateful they’re here

honestly they’ve kept my sys afloat for a very long time and I really do love them for it

-not worth your fucking time. like really.

I’ve been in a really shitty mood since my breakdown this weekend and I have to start teaching. I’m really not in the headspace for it but I gotta do it anyways!!!

-us and it most likely will continue to be us caring for ourselves for the rest of our lives. our therapist says we need to learn how to depend on others but it’s not like anyone ever has to begin with!!!! everyone’s got their own excuses and not that I blame anyone but

damn way to show that I’m-

🤖its probably why we developed into a system in the first place

*because* no one listened to us that our mind split us apart to lean on each other. All of us have assumed a lot of identities but these have been the long lasting ones. L and Sandy and Naoto have been here especially long. It’s been-

🤖ofc we also deal with us being the sounding board but *no one ever* asking us “hey Shinn/L/Naoto/whomever are u okay” and then act all surprised or shit when we inevitably blow up or just need space or lose our temper

Like I get it we listen really well since it’s our job but. fucking man.

-about it to that I feel this way in the first place because there is no one! (Our partner is here but we’ve just recently started talking about that)

We’re slowly healing thanks to therapy but I really don’t think our system as a coping mechanism is going away anytime soon. I guess I need to vent

-in public because of how fucking political everything’s become. we’re here dealing with a severe case of generational trauma and social isolation but I just!!! Can’t talk about it!!! I’m absolutely terrible at friends and all us know it!!!

and it’s also because we have no one that we can’t yap-

🤖like I get it, keeping friends to a “need to know” basis is common and all that but most of what my friends know of me is like. “Oh this person only likes talking about fandom stuff and work” is probably the common thought about us when it really isn’t

But lord knows I can’t talk about it-

🤖I’m glad you’re feeling a little better then!! take your time reaching out and just feel good with yourself first

🤖ok im done

🤖 L IS TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN

NO I WILL NOT WE HAVE A JOB TO DO I may not like it but WE HAVE A JOB TO DO

🤖Chase: hi you’re overdrawn
Amazon: it was time to pay up bitch
Me: FUCK HOW AM I GOING TO GO TO WORK YOU JACKASS
Amazon: :)

🤖riiiiii i hope you’re doing well i missed youuuu ;w;

🐯I WANTED TO

but quanta-chan you know what happened