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Dean Spade

@deanspade.bsky.social

16K followers 20 following 150 posts

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · Jun 11

I am so excited to announce Love in a F*cked Up World, the podcast! The first episode is out today — a conversation with adrienne maree brown — and I'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks for the next few months.

youtu.be/m-a1yDmReGQ?...

Introducing: Love in a F*cked Up World | Podcast with Dean Spade

YouTube video by Dean Spade

youtu.be

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 1d

Can we appreciate that we’re all learning about how to say no, and how to hear others say no, and be as generous as possible in these difficult moments?

Listen to the whole episode wherever you get your podcasts, or watch on YouTube.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 1d

This can happen when someone says no to us, especially if we aren’t used to direct communication, or if they were in a heightened state when they said it and it came out a bit harshly. Can we give each other a little forgiveness for this?

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 1d

We all get into these life-or-death feeling states, even about small stuff, because sometimes something just gets under your skin.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 1d

Often times, when we’re having heightened feelings in a group or relationship, on some level it feels like life-or-death, even if we logically know its just the dishes or the money or the jealousy or the disagreement in the meeting.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 2d

I'll be with @interruptcrim.bsky.social for a conversation about how to advance narratives that undermine authoritarianism and increase solidarity. Join me, @dreanyc123.bsky.social and Lewis Wallen on October 15th, 3pm est! ❤️ ❤️

Fighting Copaganda Under Authoritarianism — Interrupting Criminalization

A discussion of how to advance narratives that undermine authoritarianism and increase solidarity, featuring Interrupting Criminalization's Andrea Ritchie, Abolition Journalism Fellow Lewis Raven Wall...

www.interruptingcriminalization.com

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 5d

If you are not in London but want to attend, there is an online/livestream option. Please still register at the link below to get the link! Tickets are free :)

Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 12d

I'll be presenting some thoughts about work--wage work, housework, care work, organizing work, and all other kinds--at Birkbeck in London on October 10th at 6pm!

www.bbk.ac.uk/events/event...

Public Lecture: Dean Spade - Resisting Work and Resistance Work

Dean Spade discusses work, and how wage work impacts care and resistance work. He explores alternative practices of care as resistance work.

www.bbk.ac.uk

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 9d

In the new episode of Love in a F*cked Up World, Morgan Bassichis and I go deep into these questions, including talking about how to know when to keep trying to convince people of your perspective and when to move on.

Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 9d

How can you tell when it's time to leave a relationship with a person, project, job, or group? How can you tell if you have a tendency to walk away too fast or to stay too long in relationships?

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 12d

I'll be presenting some thoughts about work--wage work, housework, care work, organizing work, and all other kinds--at Birkbeck in London on October 10th at 6pm!

www.bbk.ac.uk/events/event...

Public Lecture: Dean Spade - Resisting Work and Resistance Work

Dean Spade discusses work, and how wage work impacts care and resistance work. He explores alternative practices of care as resistance work.

www.bbk.ac.uk

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Reposted by Dean Spade

qUCL @qucl.bsky.social · 19d

'Sticking Together in Tough Times' with Dean Spade
6 Oct 6-8pm
Discussing the kinds of bold, rule-breaking, risk-taking resistance that people are taking up to care for each other and save lives right now.
www.ucl.ac.uk/institute-of...

'Sticking Together in Tough Times' with Dean Spade

qUCL and the SPRC are pleased to jointly host Dean Spade, who will discuss the kinds of bold, rule-breaking, risk-taking resistance that people are taking up to care for each other and save lives righ...

www.ucl.ac.uk

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Reposted by Dean Spade

In These Times @inthesetimes.com · 18d

How do you balance love, friendship, and radical organizing? @deanspade.bsky.social's new book shows leftists how to build ethical, supportive relationships without losing sight of the struggle.

Read the conversation with @emanabdelhadi.bsky.social:

inthesetimes.com/article/love...

An illustration shows diverse, vibrant scenes divided by torn edges. Highlights include friendships, comforting embrace, and activism with a megaphone. Tonal contrast reflects emotional depth.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 15d

Yes, they are all being posted here: www.deanspade.net/2024/11/15/u...

Upcoming Speaking Events Calendar and Access Info—Wear a Mask! – Dean Spade

www.deanspade.net

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 16d

I'll be in Manchester on October 3rd at 6:30pm with Wu Tsang at @blackwellsmcr.bsky.social. Thanks to the Centre for the Study of Sexuality and Culture and the Centre for New Writing for co-sponsoring.

Tickets: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/love-in-a-...

A picture of me smiling next to a photo of the cover of Love in a Fucked-Up World. Text reads: Blackwell's Manchester presents...Dean Spade in conversation with Wu Tsang, Friday 3rd October at 6:30pm, blackwells.co.uk/events

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 19d

Edinburgh!! I’ll be with @lighthousebks.bsky.social
at the Great Hall on Wednesday October 1st at 7pm for a discussion on Love in a F*cked-Up World with Wu Tsang
and Nat Raha! Come join us ❤️❤️

lighthousebookshop.com/events/love-...

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 20d

UK book tour at the beginning of October! I’ll be talking about mutual aid, Love in a F*cked-Up World, and how to stick together in increasingly brutal times. Join me ❤️💛💗

Tickets and access info here: www.deanspade.net/2024/11/15/u...

Dean Spade UK Tour

October 1 - Edinburgh, 7pm at Lighthouse
October 2 - Glasgow, 1pm at Kinning Park Complex
October 2 - Glasgow, 7pm at Listen Gallery
October 3 - Manchester, 6:30pm at Blackwell's
October 4 - Nottingham, 4pm at TBD
October 6 - London, 6pm at UCL
October 9 - London, 7pm at Pages of Hackney
October 10 - London, 6pm at Birkbeck

This tour includes in-person and online events. I'm asking people to mask for in-person and asking venues to coordinate with mask blocs and clean air clubs to increase COVID safety. I have asked venues to fill out an access survey with detailed info. You can find the survey results and other details at the "Book Tour Dates and Access Info" link in my linktree in my bio.

There is a giant, unjust gap between how access and COVID safety should be, and how things mostly are. It's hard to bridge. Thank you to @maskblocseattle, @longcovidjustice, and @seattlecleanair for help crafting my approach to this tour.

Special thanks to @bioabundancellc for collaborating with Clean Air Clubs, and for giving me a discount on a UV device to bring to events to help clean the air and increase safety. Please test and mask, and please contact venues, rather than me, with questions about access for specific events.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 20d

There are over a 1000 copies of Love in a F*cked-Up World available for people inside prisons and jails! Request a book for someone through this link:
airtable.com/app87WhX08mp...

Prisoners can request a book by writing to:

1977 Books
1468 Woodley Road
Montgomery, Alabama
36106

Hot pink crumpled paper background with hand-drawn heart designs in black with text reading, "How to get Free Copies of Love in a F*cked-Up World For People in Prison"

Hot pink crumpled paper background with black text reading, "Prisoners Can Mail a Request to: 1977 Books 1468 Woodley Road, Montgomery, Alabama, 36106, or..."

Hot pink crumpled paper background with small hand-drawn black hearts in the bottom left corner with black text reading, "Request a Book for someone in prison: bit.ly/46oMUUk (link in bio)"

Hot pink crumpled paper background with black text that reads, "Thanks to the Marguerite Casey Foundation for Donating 1000 books and thanks to the groups that are distributing those books to prisoners:" and in bright yellow/green text, "1977 Books, Inside Books Project, LGBT Books to Prisoners, Daughters"

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 21d

We so frequently shame other people and ourselves, hoping it will lead to change. @prentishemphill.bsky.social breaks down why shame does not produce insight or behavior change. You can listen to the whole interview wherever you get your podcasts, or watch on YouTube.

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Reposted by Dean Spade

awkword @awkword.bsky.social · 24d

These are tumultuous times. Racial capitalism is the reason.

It’s time to think outside the box.

Listen and subscribe to the anti-imperialist video pod @makcapitalism.bsky.social — produced and co-hosted by the honorable @jaybeware.bsky.social.

Pay as little as $1 a month for exclusive content.

Creating revolutionary political education

www.patreon.com

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 27d

Just got more of these cute stickers that I've been handing out during my book tour to give out to people who join our podcast's new Patreon! Grateful to the artists who designed these with me--Sophie Lucido Johnson, Chris E Vargas, Calvin Burnap, and EM Frank.

www.patreon.com/deanspade

A collection of stickers with illustations and taglines like "got a lifetime use it like a weapon baby", "smash the relationship escalator", and "dismantle the romance myth!"

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 28d

In this episode, I got to talk to my friend and teacher, @prentishemphill.bsky.social. Prentis knows so much about love, organizing, and healing, this conversation was a gift and I have reflected on it many times since we recorded it.

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · 29d

If you’re distressed watching the transphobic nightmare unfold, a great way to support trans people is to become a penpal to an imprisoned trans person.

@powerblossoms.bsky.social, @arcgenderjustice.bsky.social, @blackandpinkorg.bsky.social, @massamp1312.bsky.social, @tpride.bsky.social

A background with green pealing paint and text that reads "How to Support Trans People Now: Write to a Prisoner" with a small graphic of a envelope

Green peeling paint with text that reads: Why this is so important: People in prison face isolation, violence, health and nutritional deprivation; friendship with someone outside can help a lot; send in money for commissary items and books; help prepare for release

Text reads: Groups to Help Find a Penpal: Power Blossoms, locations: California and federal prisons; ARC Gender Justice, locations: New York, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Florida; Black & Pink, locations: National; Abolitionist Mail Project, locations: Massachusetts; Trans Pride Initiative, locations: Texas

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Reposted by Dean Spade

karima @eight4878.bsky.social · Sep 4

Dean Spade discusses his radical self-help book, Love in a Fucked Up World, here: www.removepaywall.com/search?url=h... via @deanspade.bsky.social

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Reposted by Dean Spade

Black Trans Texas Connection @blacktranstexas.bsky.social · Sep 7

Can you share our link. It is a new way for money pool fundraiser. You don’t have to have a PayPal to donate. This money pool is not just any fundraiser it is a fundraiser that will save trans peoples lives.

PayPal

www.paypal.com

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Dean Spade @deanspade.bsky.social · Sep 8

I loved seeing what Reyanna James favorite ideas from Love in a F*cked Up World are—an honor to be read closely by such an excellent writer.

www.radishliving.com/how-to-love-...

Text reads: Lesson 1: To have secure and healthy romantic relationships, we have to throw out romance myth scripts. Romance myths go something like this: romantic relationships are the most important relationships in our lives; they are the place were we become complete, satisfied, loved, and safe; real romance is eternal and exclusive; true love is easy, natural, and unchanging. These cultural scripts are fed to us from an early age. They show up in the media we consume, are passed down to us from our parents' and grandparents'...

Text reads: Lesson 2: Safety does not come from exclusivity. We need promiscuous support networks. The romance myth teaches us to equate love with isolation and exclusivity - not just in romantic relationships, but in friendship and family, too. That belief shows up in the small pangs of jealously when a best friend spends time with someone else, or the sting when a partner confides in another person first. In a scarcity-based culture, exclusivity becomes a marker of significance: I matter because I'm the only one. In reality exclusivity makes our...

Text reads: Lesson 3: You are neither the best nor the worst. It is important to fund healthy mediums between extremes. When we experience intense emotions, we often default to extremes: 'I had a strong negative feeling, so I must be the problem' or 'I had a strong negative feeling, so the other person must be the problem.' Most of the time, the reality is somewhere in the middle. Not every feeling we have means someone else is to blame, and not every mistake we make means we're irredeemable. As a society, when people hurt each other, we usually default to one of two...

Text reads: Lesson 4: Your identity is not fixed. You are what you practice behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that we repeat so often they start to feel like "just who we are." This idea builds on feminist philosopher Judith Butler's theory that gender itself is just a collection of repeated performances: wearing "feminine" clothing, styling your hair in certain gendered ways, moving or speaking in ways that align with cultural codes. Do these small things enough, and they become a sort of second skin.