Is there a word for the sound you make when you open a door and someone is coming through the other side at exactly the same time?

I’m not American but sometimes the metric system isn’t enough

“Why are there always fingerprints on my sunglasses?” I say, forgetting for a moment I have children

Grateful for these guys

Happy pride to all the corporations that have to be in the closet the other 11 months of the year

Finding that nice chin hair light 👌

Is this a polycule?

Yesterday morning I woke up with my 5 year old and then fell back to sleep on the couch. He took 84 pictures of me while I snored

Hi stranger, if you don’t have something nice to say to a mom with a crying baby, shut your mouth. No one needs to hear why you think he is crying, especially if you immediately jump off the streetcar so I can’t call you an asshole to your face.

I go to the doctor regularly but pretty sure I’m gonna die after saying “oh it’s nothing” about something that is most definitely not nothing

Today I am immensely grateful for other parents that will join me in the trenches, i.e. help me convince my sensory sensitive kid to wear a new pair of snow pants

I seem to be in the minority in thinking getting your BP taken is super painful (which is weird for me because I like getting hit for funsies). Imagine my joy in finding a wrist BP monitor: I haven’t been this thrilled about a purchase since my baby brezza

Unsolicited “community” emails asking for me to support nimby-ism will do the opposite. Watch me use my powers of bureaucracy to destroy your stupid cause

The key to a successful marriage: find out which snacks you love that your partner will never eat so you never come home to find your fav treat is gone

More naked tales and something my 5 year old learned today: no, just because there is a hole in your pants doesn’t mean you should put your penis through it

Taking notes to document my morning getting my kid dressed for school and should I really be surprised my most frequent word used is “naked”?