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Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀

@disentingcat.bsky.social

5K followers 680 following 5.8K posts

Blue cat in a red dog state. Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful…🌈 Also, on Mastadon: [email protected]

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Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2h

Even the hurricanes are avoiding the US...
(A map of multiple hurricanes, each making a hard right at the last minute to avert contact with the US)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2h

😢

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2h

9mmSMG @9mm_smg:
Rarely am I jealous of another man. This man's rare stick collection has me feeling pure envy.
(A guy with a wall full of mounted sticks)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2h

your other mom •
Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2h

your other mom •
Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 11h

(Pete Hegseth) YOU'RE ALL FAT!
NOW LISTEN TO THIS FAT MAN!
(Trump) THANK YOU, NOW, UH.. GO... ATTACK AMERICA.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 14h

Governor Newsom Press Office
@GovPressOffice
GOOD NEWS PATRIOTS! WITH WASHINGTON SHUT DOWN, I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM NOW THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. MY PLATFORM IS VERY SIMPLE:
HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!), FREE SCHOOL MEALS (WOW PUDDING FOR EVERYONE), FREE CHILDCARE (THE MOMS LOVE ME!
MORE BABIES!! GOOD-PAYING JOBS, AND NO MORE EVIL TARIFFS!!! EGGS WILL BE FREE. HAIR GEL SUBSIDIES WILL BE AVAILABLE (BUT ONLY FOR HANDSOME DEMOCRATS) AND WE WILL ALSO LEGALIZE CANNABIS! CRIME WILL STAY LOW AND EVERYONE WILL BE HIGH ON PATRIOTISM. AND NO MORE TICKETMASTER FEES (FOR THE SWIFTIES, FEES STAY FOR KID ROCK! THEY WILL CHANT USA! USA!
BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK AND "HOTTER" THAN EVER BEFORE. THANK YOU! - GCN

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 14h

Found in a patient's crack before a colonoscopy
(A note)
Good morning,
I have been trying to reath you about your cars extended warranty.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 1d

boss: you're late again me: i saw a cat
boss: that's what you said yesterday
me: he lives in my house

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 1d

Trump Explodes with Rage after Gavin Newsom Wins Nobel Peace Prize

www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-expl...

Trump Explodes with Rage after Gavin Newsom Wins Nobel Peace Prize

The committee recognized Trump with a "certificate of participation."

www.borowitzreport.com

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d

(Lines lifted from a Black Sabbath song)
Generals gathered in their masses
Staring at these two jackasses..

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d

(A spooky looking cat in the dark)
It's never too early to feed the cat.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d

(A cat)
Consistency is key.
Never stop begging for treats!
Doesn't matter if they say no 200 times.
One ot them is weak.
You just have to find out who

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d

I once filled a planet with little copies of me.
But they were naughty and I drowned most of them. Then I impregnated one of them and had a son. I had him killed so that the others would love me. Sometimes I wonder whether that was OK or not.
What do you think, doctor?

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d

(Girl in red dress) Actual children
(Guy checking her out) Evangelical Christians
(His girlfriend looking at him mad) A clump of cells

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d

(Robin) Maybe people don't want to see your cat pics
(Batman and his ginger cat, slapping Robin) Yes they do!

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d

Meanwhile in Florida, the alligators have developed sign making skills
Runners
Move to the side of the road when a vehicle approaches
(Alligators all along the roadside)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d

I AM A CUTIE
I AM THE KITTY I MAKE YOUR DAY A LOT LESS SHITTY

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d

(Dwight from the Office) Shopping for some spooky Halloween decor
(Turning to see a woman behind him) F**k
(The women ) Christmas Trees

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

ive driven into my garage door, can someone pls genuinely help me fix this before my mum comes home tonight, what do i do???? Imao
Healthy Living
Open the garage, put the car inside and close the door again and ram it fae the other side, trust me i'm a joiner

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

(Tiger in the weeds) Measles and polio rebecoming lethal diseases in the population
(Scared little kids looking at a bunny) MAGA
supporters
(Bunny) Tylenol

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

me waiting on God's wrath after some good blasphemy
(Kermit fishing, relaxing, and looking out the window)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

Rapture Survivor Card
Celebrate 2000 years of "any day now"
Survive 9 End Times predictions and the 10th one is free!

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

Iwarnstedt 12h
Needing training wheels on your cross is the perfect metaphor for the kind of performative
Christianity of the right.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀 @disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d

hubris king
@newtguzzler
When I die I want to be cremated but at my funeral there will be an open casket with a Muppet version of me.