it’s called “Big Beautiful Bill” because, subconsciously, Republican lawmakers still wish they could’ve seen President Clinton’s dick

tbf, you can’t expect this administration to protect Tesla dealerships AND secret war plans at the same time! sometimes you have to pick your battles — and sometimes you have to text them to a reporter.

did anyone say thank you, even once, in the secret war plans gronp chat?

in retrospect, maybe it was a bad idea to normalize, for a whole generation of kids, how the richest duck in Duckburg could openly brag that he might “rewrite history” and still be the good guy. idk. do ponytails and cottontails fall under DEI?

🤔 hypothetical question: if Elon & Trump built a casino on Mars, would it go bankrupt and then explode, or explode and then go bankrupt?

Pro-imperialists after Order 66: Vader is out there working hard every day to expose the lies & corruption of the Jedi and all you liberals do is complain every day. You have Palpatine Derangement Syndrome! Honestly, if you don’t support The Emperor, you shouldn’t even get a 5k credit DARTH check.

lawbreaker says what?

they could also announce a new national slogan: Mexicans Are Great Americans! do a dramatic reveal, first with the Spanish version, and then unfurl the rest of the banner to reveal the English translation… again, just to troll him.

you know if they did that, he would immediately sign another EO re-renaming it “Gulf of USA” or some dumb shit.

it would be kind of funny if Mexico (temporarily) changed its name to America just to troll him.

rather than having the State Department ban it on passports, i am surprised President Elon didn’t just buy gender marker “X” and then lose 80% of it’s value 🤷‍♂️

with the cost of groceries skyrocketing,
i can’t even afford to butter emails anymore! 🧈📧

if i ever invent time travel i am going back to 2005 to stop puppet Homestar & Strong Bad from doing the “doge” joke.

seasonal affective disorder but the season is fascism.