I, for one, like Roman numerals.

Back when Troy came out, two other films were in theaters such that I saw a marquee that read:

Raising Helen
Saved
Troy

It's not just demand alone, though, is I think they key thing.

I actually wonder whether it was a similar dynamic that made "really" an intensifier once upon a time.

"Literally" used as intensifier is extreme exaggeration. I figuratively (say) died to such an extent it's as if I literally died. That it's the antonym is coincidence. It's simply that something being real is "more extreme" than something not being.

In a similar vein, if somebody says "you left me waiting for days" we never say "sometimes days means minutes" - we say that people exaggerate.

Right, but it would also be understood to be figurative without either, and more importantly if "literally" just meant "figuratively" there would be no hyperbole, which I think misunderstands the use.

I cope with "could care less" by pretending there's an omitted "... hypothetically, if I really, really tried"; I don't think that's actually what's going on, though.

"Literally" used hyperbolically as an intensifier, even in figurative speech. You are welcome to object on grounds of clarity or style, but it is a different thing than "literally" meaning "figuratively", which I have literally never encountered. I know that at least one dictionary got this wrong.

So excited!

A little more augury in our inauguration?