Don’t let him have Wednesday, he doesn’t deserve to piss it up against the wall. It’s huge game for our season just to settle for a clean sheet only to deservedly lose. Get him shut soon as this whistle goes.

Huff & puff for 10 minutes, make it look plausible to a point some get conned into thinking we’ve started well then let real clowns come out. Team look sorry for themselves. We are the easiest win these twats will get all year every year & it’s the worst Utd side in my lifetime.

Cheering the Southampton goal then realising how shite we are and probably need them to lose:

No tactics, no plans, no ideas. Set up like a Sunday league side. Said for weeks there’s lads there to work with, they’re coached horrendously & set up this way. No one’s moving, no one’s making space, no one’s taking responsibility. These last few games are as bad as it gets.

What a difference 24 hours makes, sun & the good life to 90 minutes of Dyche ball. They better be fucking normal today, I swear. Stay humble, folks!

It’s Kanchelskis executing the best header you’re likely to see, and Rideout delivering a perfectly weighted cross. Special mention to the high-vis-wearing Evertonian in the Kop End, unable to hide his joy, surrounded by stunned Kopites.

Perfect.

How are we? See we’ve all moved house! Up the Toffees from Gran Canaria.