DoGoOn Quotes
@dogoonquotes.bsky.social
A collection of profound, funny and weird things said on the DoGoOn podcast (dogoonpod.com).
Matt: We don't have listeners. We have victims.
E412: Asidas vs Puma, the Dassler Brothers Feud
E412: Asidas vs Puma, the Dassler Brothers Feud
February 6, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Matt: We don't have listeners. We have victims.
E412: Asidas vs Puma, the Dassler Brothers Feud
E412: Asidas vs Puma, the Dassler Brothers Feud
Matt: Normally you don't get pope on pope action like that. And saying that it made them shudder? That's pretty next level. That's full on.
E392: History's Worst Popes
E392: History's Worst Popes
February 1, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Matt: Normally you don't get pope on pope action like that. And saying that it made them shudder? That's pretty next level. That's full on.
E392: History's Worst Popes
E392: History's Worst Popes
Matt: It sounds like Jack Ruby, Jack Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald were all on a bus that dodged a crash somehow and then death stalked them.
Dave: Gotta even the ledger.
Matt: What was that franchise called? Last Stop?
Dave: Top Gear?
E313: The Assassination of JFK
Dave: Gotta even the ledger.
Matt: What was that franchise called? Last Stop?
Dave: Top Gear?
E313: The Assassination of JFK
January 23, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Matt: It sounds like Jack Ruby, Jack Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald were all on a bus that dodged a crash somehow and then death stalked them.
Dave: Gotta even the ledger.
Matt: What was that franchise called? Last Stop?
Dave: Top Gear?
E313: The Assassination of JFK
Dave: Gotta even the ledger.
Matt: What was that franchise called? Last Stop?
Dave: Top Gear?
E313: The Assassination of JFK
Dave: To the touchiest among them virtually any annoyance could be construed as grounds for meeting at gunpoint. And though laws against duels were passed in several southern states the statutes were ineffective.
Jess: Had they discovered wanking yet!?
Jess: Had they discovered wanking yet!?
January 22, 2025 at 11:57 AM
Dave: To the touchiest among them virtually any annoyance could be construed as grounds for meeting at gunpoint. And though laws against duels were passed in several southern states the statutes were ineffective.
Jess: Had they discovered wanking yet!?
Jess: Had they discovered wanking yet!?
Matt: No one really knows what a human shit looks like.
Karl: Yeah, no one has ever looked down after getting off the toilet.
Tommy: The great mystery!
Karl: It's like a Yeti! No one has ever taken a real picture. Only a few cloudy blurry pictures of shit over the years.
Karl: Yeah, no one has ever looked down after getting off the toilet.
Tommy: The great mystery!
Karl: It's like a Yeti! No one has ever taken a real picture. Only a few cloudy blurry pictures of shit over the years.
January 6, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Matt: No one really knows what a human shit looks like.
Karl: Yeah, no one has ever looked down after getting off the toilet.
Tommy: The great mystery!
Karl: It's like a Yeti! No one has ever taken a real picture. Only a few cloudy blurry pictures of shit over the years.
Karl: Yeah, no one has ever looked down after getting off the toilet.
Tommy: The great mystery!
Karl: It's like a Yeti! No one has ever taken a real picture. Only a few cloudy blurry pictures of shit over the years.
Nick Mason: Our yeast hole is so empty. We need somebody to fill it!
E183: The History of Vegemite
E183: The History of Vegemite
January 4, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Nick Mason: Our yeast hole is so empty. We need somebody to fill it!
E183: The History of Vegemite
E183: The History of Vegemite
Dave: But he's saying Putin blew up these buildings. Just going on the record to say that he said that. Putin, if you're listening, I'm not saying that.
Jess: Putin is definitely listening. Big fan!
Dave: Love Putin. Love his piano work.
#IsDaveWarneckeSecretlyEvil
E150: Wild Conspiracy Theories
Jess: Putin is definitely listening. Big fan!
Dave: Love Putin. Love his piano work.
#IsDaveWarneckeSecretlyEvil
E150: Wild Conspiracy Theories
December 29, 2024 at 7:04 PM
Dave: But he's saying Putin blew up these buildings. Just going on the record to say that he said that. Putin, if you're listening, I'm not saying that.
Jess: Putin is definitely listening. Big fan!
Dave: Love Putin. Love his piano work.
#IsDaveWarneckeSecretlyEvil
E150: Wild Conspiracy Theories
Jess: Putin is definitely listening. Big fan!
Dave: Love Putin. Love his piano work.
#IsDaveWarneckeSecretlyEvil
E150: Wild Conspiracy Theories
Jess: Can I change my nickname to Great White Shark? Well, she's the Great White Shark. SHART! I wanna be the Great White Shart!
Matt: You are!
Jess: I regret it.
E146: The Mad Gasser of Mattoon
Matt: You are!
Jess: I regret it.
E146: The Mad Gasser of Mattoon
December 29, 2024 at 12:38 PM
Jess: Can I change my nickname to Great White Shark? Well, she's the Great White Shark. SHART! I wanna be the Great White Shart!
Matt: You are!
Jess: I regret it.
E146: The Mad Gasser of Mattoon
Matt: You are!
Jess: I regret it.
E146: The Mad Gasser of Mattoon
Matt: I'm MENSA in the sheets!
E131: The Münster Rebellion
E131: The Münster Rebellion
December 7, 2024 at 2:12 PM
Matt: I'm MENSA in the sheets!
E131: The Münster Rebellion
E131: The Münster Rebellion
Matt: Half nelson means semierect, right?
E118: Ryan Gosling (with Guest Joel Duscher)
E118: Ryan Gosling (with Guest Joel Duscher)
December 2, 2024 at 2:12 PM
Matt: Half nelson means semierect, right?
E118: Ryan Gosling (with Guest Joel Duscher)
E118: Ryan Gosling (with Guest Joel Duscher)
December 1, 2024 at 7:13 PM
Dave: It's either death or the nipple spoon!
E123: The Gun Powder Plot
E123: The Gun Powder Plot
December 1, 2024 at 4:39 PM
Dave: It's either death or the nipple spoon!
E123: The Gun Powder Plot
E123: The Gun Powder Plot
Matt: I thought it was a mystery.
Jess: And I knew the whole time who it was. But I didn't say it.
Dave: Well you could have stopped a lot of people dying!
(...)
Jess: Just to clarify the BTK killer is not my father John Perkins. He's a normal human being.
E115: The BTK Killer
Jess: And I knew the whole time who it was. But I didn't say it.
Dave: Well you could have stopped a lot of people dying!
(...)
Jess: Just to clarify the BTK killer is not my father John Perkins. He's a normal human being.
E115: The BTK Killer
November 30, 2024 at 3:51 PM
Matt: I thought it was a mystery.
Jess: And I knew the whole time who it was. But I didn't say it.
Dave: Well you could have stopped a lot of people dying!
(...)
Jess: Just to clarify the BTK killer is not my father John Perkins. He's a normal human being.
E115: The BTK Killer
Jess: And I knew the whole time who it was. But I didn't say it.
Dave: Well you could have stopped a lot of people dying!
(...)
Jess: Just to clarify the BTK killer is not my father John Perkins. He's a normal human being.
E115: The BTK Killer
Dave: They [rulers of Wallachia] didn't just have to worry about different empires and religions fighting each other. They also had to worry about
Jess: BEARS!
Dave: And infighting *with bears*. And inbreeding *with bears*.
Jess: Hot!
E107: Vlad The Impaler
Jess: BEARS!
Dave: And infighting *with bears*. And inbreeding *with bears*.
Jess: Hot!
E107: Vlad The Impaler
November 29, 2024 at 5:40 PM
Dave: They [rulers of Wallachia] didn't just have to worry about different empires and religions fighting each other. They also had to worry about
Jess: BEARS!
Dave: And infighting *with bears*. And inbreeding *with bears*.
Jess: Hot!
E107: Vlad The Impaler
Jess: BEARS!
Dave: And infighting *with bears*. And inbreeding *with bears*.
Jess: Hot!
E107: Vlad The Impaler
Reposted by DoGoOn Quotes
(Nothing to lose, no reason to hold back anymore.) My recent standup special “PATH OF MOST RESISTANCE” is really funny, with a low but completely organic human viewcount (none of the botnets, gamed algorithms, publicity machines, or other rightwing comedy advantages at play):
youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig
youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig
James Adomian | Path of Most Resistance (Full Comedy Special)
YouTube video by 800 Pound Gorilla Media
youtu.be
November 8, 2024 at 1:31 AM
(Nothing to lose, no reason to hold back anymore.) My recent standup special “PATH OF MOST RESISTANCE” is really funny, with a low but completely organic human viewcount (none of the botnets, gamed algorithms, publicity machines, or other rightwing comedy advantages at play):
youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig
youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig
Matt: But the vinegar turned out to be ... Elton John's cum. And he does not sell that cheap. ... Jeez I panicked there.
Jess: [laughing] I my head I went to cum also.
E91: Cleopatra
Jess: [laughing] I my head I went to cum also.
E91: Cleopatra
November 26, 2024 at 12:18 PM
Matt: But the vinegar turned out to be ... Elton John's cum. And he does not sell that cheap. ... Jeez I panicked there.
Jess: [laughing] I my head I went to cum also.
E91: Cleopatra
Jess: [laughing] I my head I went to cum also.
E91: Cleopatra
Matt: The target of this one [mission anthropoid] was Reinhard Heydrich. You familiar with him?
Dave: No, but I like his name.
Matt: Ughhh. He was the target of it.
Jess: I don't think we like this person.
Matt: Adolph Hitler described him as the man with the iron heart.
Dave: No, but I like his name.
Matt: Ughhh. He was the target of it.
Jess: I don't think we like this person.
Matt: Adolph Hitler described him as the man with the iron heart.
November 25, 2024 at 11:42 PM
Matt: The target of this one [mission anthropoid] was Reinhard Heydrich. You familiar with him?
Dave: No, but I like his name.
Matt: Ughhh. He was the target of it.
Jess: I don't think we like this person.
Matt: Adolph Hitler described him as the man with the iron heart.
Dave: No, but I like his name.
Matt: Ughhh. He was the target of it.
Jess: I don't think we like this person.
Matt: Adolph Hitler described him as the man with the iron heart.
Matt: That's a guilty shit if I've ever seen one.
E88: Salem Witch Trials
E88: Salem Witch Trials
November 24, 2024 at 7:04 PM
Matt: That's a guilty shit if I've ever seen one.
E88: Salem Witch Trials
E88: Salem Witch Trials
Dave: Oi, bedridden woman! Don't get out of bed if you're a witch!
Matt: Knew it.
Dave: Fucking got her! Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it! Don't need him to shit.
Jess: Get rid of it?
Dave: Get rid of it. Kill the dog.
Matt: But it's shitting lots of answers.
Matt: Knew it.
Dave: Fucking got her! Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it! Don't need him to shit.
Jess: Get rid of it?
Dave: Get rid of it. Kill the dog.
Matt: But it's shitting lots of answers.
November 24, 2024 at 6:13 PM
Dave: Oi, bedridden woman! Don't get out of bed if you're a witch!
Matt: Knew it.
Dave: Fucking got her! Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it! Don't need him to shit.
Jess: Get rid of it?
Dave: Get rid of it. Kill the dog.
Matt: But it's shitting lots of answers.
Matt: Knew it.
Dave: Fucking got her! Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it! Don't need him to shit.
Jess: Get rid of it?
Dave: Get rid of it. Kill the dog.
Matt: But it's shitting lots of answers.
Jess: But there were those as well who denied her connection to the Romanovs. Baroness Sophie fuck me dead! What is that name?
Matt: That is a wild name.
Dave: That doesn't sound German or Russian to me.
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Matt: That is a wild name.
Dave: That doesn't sound German or Russian to me.
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
November 21, 2024 at 10:37 AM
Jess: But there were those as well who denied her connection to the Romanovs. Baroness Sophie fuck me dead! What is that name?
Matt: That is a wild name.
Dave: That doesn't sound German or Russian to me.
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Matt: That is a wild name.
Dave: That doesn't sound German or Russian to me.
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Jess: When is international women's day?
Matt: Ugh, for me? Everyday.
Jess: You clapped that. Have some shame!
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Matt: Ugh, for me? Everyday.
Jess: You clapped that. Have some shame!
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
November 21, 2024 at 10:20 AM
Jess: When is international women's day?
Matt: Ugh, for me? Everyday.
Jess: You clapped that. Have some shame!
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Matt: Ugh, for me? Everyday.
Jess: You clapped that. Have some shame!
E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)
Dave: What I'm doing there is: I'm tying a belt around my upper arm and then I'm tapping my lower arm to make my vein pop here. I've done heroin many times! Please.
Matt: You do have the physique of a heroin man.
Dave: It's heroin chique.
E78: Steve Irwin
Matt: You do have the physique of a heroin man.
Dave: It's heroin chique.
E78: Steve Irwin
November 18, 2024 at 7:59 PM
Dave: What I'm doing there is: I'm tying a belt around my upper arm and then I'm tapping my lower arm to make my vein pop here. I've done heroin many times! Please.
Matt: You do have the physique of a heroin man.
Dave: It's heroin chique.
E78: Steve Irwin
Matt: You do have the physique of a heroin man.
Dave: It's heroin chique.
E78: Steve Irwin
Reposted by DoGoOn Quotes
Most Upsetting Guessing Game In The World | IT'S BACK!
YouTube video by Grouse House
youtu.be
November 18, 2024 at 9:37 AM
Dave: Nazis can do women too!
E77: Coca Cola
E77: Coca Cola
November 18, 2024 at 5:44 PM
Dave: Nazis can do women too!
E77: Coca Cola
E77: Coca Cola