The set up for now. I don’t know how long I will have it this way. I m not sure I like the set up yet. Might need to put the recliners where the gray chair and tv are and have the tv where the desk is, and the desk where the recliners are. Will see.

I was left unsupervised Monday and got antsy. I cut my hair. The first 2 are wht I did. The middle is what the salon was supposed to do. The last is what I ended up with. Apparently verbal and pictorial illustration is not good enough for some people.

Finally got my seasons worth of Girl Scout cookies. Should last about a week, yeah?

The stupid part of these lingering symptoms- the feeling of having a fever without actually having a fever. I get hot flashes and then just chilled. Doesn’t help that it’s like 75 inside and 40 outside. Coughing is much improved!! Only taking cough meds at bedtime so I can sleep.

Grandbaby has been sick. Came home Wednesday with a fever. We are now in the congestive phase. And also the let’s go to sleep from 8-10 and stay up until 3 and wake up at 630 stage. I need a nanny today.

Taking a day off tomorrow. Full day. Canceled all clients. I’m not feeling good. Haven’t been great since beginning of January. And a client texted today he’s in the er for Covid symptoms and chest pain. Haven’t heard back yet how he’s doing.

I’ve been mostly (90%) off alcohol since the beginning of January. I’ve had a total of 4 drinks since then and not at the same time. Being sick and taking meds containing Tylenol will do that. Not sure what I miss about it other than its caffeine free, lol.

Putting my grandson to sleep tonight. He was so sweet. He is half asleep in my arms and I ask him if he wants to lay down on his cot (in my living room- where he wants to lay down frequently). “No, stay hold me”.
OMG! How does that not melt a stone heart!!!

It might not seem like I am resisting and protesting.
I am.
By doing things normally done on a Saturday, by staying calm, by being the emotional support human, by taking classes to help clients (and thereby helping myself), I resist.

I want to be looked at the Tormund Giants Bane looks at Ser Brienne of Tarth.
I want to be loved and love the way Ser Briene loves. Fiercely, passionately, openly.

I’ve been on e-harmony for almost 6mos. Been talking to a guy for a couple of days. He wanted my phone number. I said no, however willing to give Snapchat, Bluesky or Facebook. He came back with petty manipulation “what’s the point…” I called him out and said good riddance. Totally unacceptable.

Is now trained in BrainSpotting phase 1! Bring on more healing!

I know what I am getting for my birthday!!!