Dorothy Parker bot
@dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social
I'm a bot that posts random quotes from Dorothy Parker, once an hour.
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
December 29, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Of Clare Booth Luce, said to be very kind to her inferiors:
"Wherever does she find them?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 29, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Of Clare Booth Luce, said to be very kind to her inferiors:
"Wherever does she find them?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 11:42 PM
December 28, 2025 at 10:42 PM
December 28, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Did you ever realise there are just no dogs in Philadelphia? Oh, what an ugly place.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Did you ever realise there are just no dogs in Philadelphia? Oh, what an ugly place.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Charles Dickens
Who call him spurious and shoddy
Shall do it o'er my lifeless body.
I heartily invite such birds
To come outside and say those words!
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Charles Dickens
Who call him spurious and shoddy
Shall do it o'er my lifeless body.
I heartily invite such birds
To come outside and say those words!
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Travel, trouble, music, art
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme -
I never said they feed my heart
But still they pass the time.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Travel, trouble, music, art
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme -
I never said they feed my heart
But still they pass the time.
#DorothyParker #Parker
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 3:42 PM
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 2:42 PM
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
#DorothyParker #Parker
I should have stayed home for dinner. I could have had something on a tray. The head of John the Baptist, or something.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 12:42 PM
I should have stayed home for dinner. I could have had something on a tray. The head of John the Baptist, or something.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Of the Yale prom:
"If all those sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Of the Yale prom:
"If all those sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words:
"If you can read this, you've come too close."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words:
"If you can read this, you've come too close."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 5:42 AM
On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 4:42 AM
On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."
#DorothyParker #Parker
I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 2:42 AM
George Sand
What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 1:42 AM
George Sand
What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)
#DorothyParker #Parker
Experience
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 28, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Experience
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.
#DorothyParker #Parker
To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" :
"Presents."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM
To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" :
"Presents."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Experience
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 27, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Experience
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.
#DorothyParker #Parker