Chase Hoffman
@driftpeasant.org
Blackburn Rovers 'til I die, Austin FC until seriously ill. My opinions are mine and do not represent those of the Waystar Corporation.
Pinned
Isn't this just... Half?
November 26, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Isn't this just... Half?
Overheard at HEB this morning:
"Wait, you're telling me vinegar smells like that because it's Jewish?"
"...what are you talking about?"
"You said it smells that way because of the Hasidic acid."
"ACETIC ACID. ACETIC!"
"Wait, you're telling me vinegar smells like that because it's Jewish?"
"...what are you talking about?"
"You said it smells that way because of the Hasidic acid."
"ACETIC ACID. ACETIC!"
November 26, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Overheard at HEB this morning:
"Wait, you're telling me vinegar smells like that because it's Jewish?"
"...what are you talking about?"
"You said it smells that way because of the Hasidic acid."
"ACETIC ACID. ACETIC!"
"Wait, you're telling me vinegar smells like that because it's Jewish?"
"...what are you talking about?"
"You said it smells that way because of the Hasidic acid."
"ACETIC ACID. ACETIC!"
Are you sure it's not because you're doing a Dukakis In A Tank photo-op?
November 26, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Are you sure it's not because you're doing a Dukakis In A Tank photo-op?
Why, yes, yes there is.
"I'm retiring because I am clearly bad at this job now."
"I'm retiring because I am clearly bad at this job now."
November 26, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Why, yes, yes there is.
"I'm retiring because I am clearly bad at this job now."
"I'm retiring because I am clearly bad at this job now."
Phrases only appropriate at restaraunts:
"Are you 17?"
"No, I'm 14."
"Oh, haha, my mistake. Someone else gets this straw."
...never change, fast food. Never change.
"Are you 17?"
"No, I'm 14."
"Oh, haha, my mistake. Someone else gets this straw."
...never change, fast food. Never change.
November 21, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Phrases only appropriate at restaraunts:
"Are you 17?"
"No, I'm 14."
"Oh, haha, my mistake. Someone else gets this straw."
...never change, fast food. Never change.
"Are you 17?"
"No, I'm 14."
"Oh, haha, my mistake. Someone else gets this straw."
...never change, fast food. Never change.
Well, damn. That trashes all of my vacation planning.
November 20, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Well, damn. That trashes all of my vacation planning.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Bat Dog!
Bat Dog!
November 20, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Bat Dog!
Bat Dog!
I mean, I can't be the only person to only see the first 5 characters of this name, right?
November 20, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I mean, I can't be the only person to only see the first 5 characters of this name, right?
Reposted by Chase Hoffman
I was on YouTube and got an ad for a Christmas ornament of the Grinch eating ass?
November 7, 2025 at 7:38 AM
I was on YouTube and got an ad for a Christmas ornament of the Grinch eating ass?
Hey fellas, why don't you come up and... see me sometime
November 7, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Hey fellas, why don't you come up and... see me sometime
"Who's your favorite Kamen Rider?"
"I dunno. Kabuto maybe?"
"Mine is Geiz."
"Huh. Why?"
"'Cause Kamen Rider Geiz nutz!"
"I dunno. Kabuto maybe?"
"Mine is Geiz."
"Huh. Why?"
"'Cause Kamen Rider Geiz nutz!"
November 6, 2025 at 4:34 PM
"Who's your favorite Kamen Rider?"
"I dunno. Kabuto maybe?"
"Mine is Geiz."
"Huh. Why?"
"'Cause Kamen Rider Geiz nutz!"
"I dunno. Kabuto maybe?"
"Mine is Geiz."
"Huh. Why?"
"'Cause Kamen Rider Geiz nutz!"
Canonically, which Kamen Rider always loses verbal duels?
Kamen Rider Drake
(I am so sorry)
Kamen Rider Drake
(I am so sorry)
November 6, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Canonically, which Kamen Rider always loses verbal duels?
Kamen Rider Drake
(I am so sorry)
Kamen Rider Drake
(I am so sorry)
Happy 150th Birthday to Blackburn Rovers Football Club!
You've been a huge part of my life, brought me joy, brought me pain (so, so much pain), but I wouldn't change my decision to support Rovers for anything.
Also, as is tradition - F*** Burnley!
You've been a huge part of my life, brought me joy, brought me pain (so, so much pain), but I wouldn't change my decision to support Rovers for anything.
Also, as is tradition - F*** Burnley!
November 5, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Happy 150th Birthday to Blackburn Rovers Football Club!
You've been a huge part of my life, brought me joy, brought me pain (so, so much pain), but I wouldn't change my decision to support Rovers for anything.
Also, as is tradition - F*** Burnley!
You've been a huge part of my life, brought me joy, brought me pain (so, so much pain), but I wouldn't change my decision to support Rovers for anything.
Also, as is tradition - F*** Burnley!
@hooverdam.bsky.social is this what being a Revs fan feels like?
November 3, 2025 at 4:08 AM
@hooverdam.bsky.social is this what being a Revs fan feels like?
November 3, 2025 at 4:07 AM
You know what? Screw it. We're in "number go brrrrr" territory.
Whelp, now 3 dumbest.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Those are the two dumbest things I've seen watching Austin, and we used to be coached by Josh Wolff.
November 3, 2025 at 3:37 AM
You know what? Screw it. We're in "number go brrrrr" territory.
Whelp, now 3 dumbest.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Those are the two dumbest things I've seen watching Austin, and we used to be coached by Josh Wolff.
November 3, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Whelp, now 3 dumbest.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.
Those are the two dumbest things I've seen watching Austin, and we used to be coached by Josh Wolff.
November 3, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Those are the two dumbest things I've seen watching Austin, and we used to be coached by Josh Wolff.
Reposted by Chase Hoffman
FINALLY NICO ESTEVEZ LISTENS TO OUR ADVICE
Bukari’s ankle didn't make it after all. Robert Taylor starts at RW; Obrian could theoretically spell him
November 3, 2025 at 1:15 AM
FINALLY NICO ESTEVEZ LISTENS TO OUR ADVICE
You know, if you're going to proselytize on Halloween, maybe pick something, ANYTHING, other than the objectively worst candy.
November 1, 2025 at 2:11 AM
You know, if you're going to proselytize on Halloween, maybe pick something, ANYTHING, other than the objectively worst candy.
My favorite composer and yours.
Oh, no, my mistake.
Oh, no, my mistake.
November 1, 2025 at 1:59 AM
My favorite composer and yours.
Oh, no, my mistake.
Oh, no, my mistake.
That's right world - I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT
November 1, 2025 at 12:36 AM
That's right world - I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT