Nothing like going grocery shopping to make you lose all hope in humanity

What do you mean “everybody does coke”? I work at an office!

Me, a lesbian, every time my period is a couple of days late: omg, I’m pregnant.

Why, yes, I am the man of the house (lesbian daughter)

Nothing worse than the Monday scaries after a long weekend

Just found out I don’t have the right anatomy for a belly button piercing. Probably a good thing in the overall but really bummed today.

Got another helix piercing instead. I might run out of space on my ears soon.

Only Tuesday and I’m already sick of emails 😭

Is it Friday yet?

Me every Monday morning

Someone explain the evolutionary necessity for nipple hair. I’m getting tired of plucking them every week.

kissing that girl who overthinks things. mwwwah. right on the lips. no more thinking for u beautiful

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeee 😩 I hate Mondays.

Looks like I missed quite the party! Spending the first half of the day on my cure for FOMO: obsessive scrolling.