мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 7h
Who is paying her to make music—that’s what I want to know, Jimmy.
мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 7h
I was this summer years old when I found out Torn was a cover.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 7h
What in the 2001 is this.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 9h
I printed a sticker for my debit card as a reminder to spend responsibly.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 11h
This was easily the best choice I made today.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 12h
🙌🏻
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 18h
Doing my damndest to enjoy October despite being aware of facts and information.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 22h
Fair, but I’m not sure these are the troops you send to storm beaches.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 22h
Early morning runs hit different when the neighborhood’s full of Halloween decorations.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
Knock ‘em dead, but sell ‘em shirts first.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
That’s it, you’re done.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
We live in a fragile world. Protect Dolly Parton at all costs.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
For a lawyer, Pam Bondi seemed shocked by how hearings work.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
At least you're coping with that irritation in a healthy way.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 1d
I put on a hoodie I haven't worn since last year and found $40 in the pocket. Finally—generational wealth!
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
The sign you were waiting for.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
A dozen, a hundred, it's impossible to tell.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
And if you’ll look at the monitor, you’ll see we’ve once again arrived at Monday—thanks to the capitalist time loop we appear to be trapped in.
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
I always seem to see them early in the day and think, "Fine, I’ll go for that jog at lunch—the bastard."
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
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мɑгκ
@drumrollplease.bsky.social
· 2d
Do you know how a pirate asks someone out on a date? “Aaaaaargh ya free Friday night?”
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