David S Cordero
@dscordero.bsky.social
Originally an alternative to Twitter but this is where I’ll process my feelings about my current circumstances. Read at your own discretion. Even the worm will turn.
one fewer public playlist~
not sure why this impacts me as much as it does, but it does
not sure why this impacts me as much as it does, but it does
July 23, 2024 at 9:10 PM
one fewer public playlist~
not sure why this impacts me as much as it does, but it does
not sure why this impacts me as much as it does, but it does
the body remembers. was just about to delete this app and then I saw the last time I was on was a month ago. doing much better now, but wow. talk about progress.
July 8, 2024 at 7:41 PM
the body remembers. was just about to delete this app and then I saw the last time I was on was a month ago. doing much better now, but wow. talk about progress.
wow it had been a while since I’ve been on this and seeing my thoughts is particularly painful to reflect on. like holy fuck I’ve been in some dark places.
June 8, 2024 at 5:03 PM
wow it had been a while since I’ve been on this and seeing my thoughts is particularly painful to reflect on. like holy fuck I’ve been in some dark places.
I finally know why this week was particularly hard (besides seeing them out again): A birthday and four months all in one week!
“Everybody wish **** a happy birthday!!”
Something he couldn’t be bothered to do for me.
Maybe he actually gifted her something and got her a card on time.
“Everybody wish **** a happy birthday!!”
Something he couldn’t be bothered to do for me.
Maybe he actually gifted her something and got her a card on time.
June 8, 2024 at 5:00 PM
I finally know why this week was particularly hard (besides seeing them out again): A birthday and four months all in one week!
“Everybody wish **** a happy birthday!!”
Something he couldn’t be bothered to do for me.
Maybe he actually gifted her something and got her a card on time.
“Everybody wish **** a happy birthday!!”
Something he couldn’t be bothered to do for me.
Maybe he actually gifted her something and got her a card on time.
Waiting at the stadium throws me back to the last time I was here when my ex was late because he’d gone to a work happy hour (where his affair partner was) and when he arrived didn’t even apologize for his lateness, and was upset that I was upset.
May 6, 2024 at 8:03 PM
Waiting at the stadium throws me back to the last time I was here when my ex was late because he’d gone to a work happy hour (where his affair partner was) and when he arrived didn’t even apologize for his lateness, and was upset that I was upset.
Nine days since the last intrusive thought, and thankfully was able to shelve it pretty quickly. That said it’s still angering that I’m still dealing with these damn intrusive thoughts about them fucking.
May 6, 2024 at 3:15 AM
Nine days since the last intrusive thought, and thankfully was able to shelve it pretty quickly. That said it’s still angering that I’m still dealing with these damn intrusive thoughts about them fucking.
Reading the word “honey bun” makes me physically sick.
April 26, 2024 at 11:11 PM
Reading the word “honey bun” makes me physically sick.
Also every time I pass this intersection I recall him meandering to “meet me” when he was really calling her at 3 fucking am. What a fucking conniving piece of shit.
April 26, 2024 at 10:39 PM
Also every time I pass this intersection I recall him meandering to “meet me” when he was really calling her at 3 fucking am. What a fucking conniving piece of shit.
After almost 7 days, I had a panic attack thinking of them fucking. I’m having a really hard time finding self compassion at the fact that my brain still has intrusive thoughts. I’m so exhausted of all of this bullshit.
April 26, 2024 at 10:38 PM
After almost 7 days, I had a panic attack thinking of them fucking. I’m having a really hard time finding self compassion at the fact that my brain still has intrusive thoughts. I’m so exhausted of all of this bullshit.
Another set of nightmares 🥰
April 15, 2024 at 11:39 AM
Another set of nightmares 🥰
Looking for a book, I came across cards from the last year and one was particularly painful to reread, from when my ex went to Montreal (with the passport I helped him get, something he couldn’t bring himself to do for me) and he wrote to me that 1) I was pretty rad and 2) that he loved me very much
April 14, 2024 at 5:14 AM
Looking for a book, I came across cards from the last year and one was particularly painful to reread, from when my ex went to Montreal (with the passport I helped him get, something he couldn’t bring himself to do for me) and he wrote to me that 1) I was pretty rad and 2) that he loved me very much
You ever haunted by obsessive thoughts of the last time you were in a space, which was with your ex who was too preoccupied with making sure his (emotional) affair partner wasn’t too drunk and made it home okay? No? Just me? Okiedokie. Yeah it fucking blows and requires a lot of grounding.
April 13, 2024 at 4:33 AM
You ever haunted by obsessive thoughts of the last time you were in a space, which was with your ex who was too preoccupied with making sure his (emotional) affair partner wasn’t too drunk and made it home okay? No? Just me? Okiedokie. Yeah it fucking blows and requires a lot of grounding.
Love being unable to sleep because they continue to plague my dreams ☺️
April 10, 2024 at 3:18 PM
Love being unable to sleep because they continue to plague my dreams ☺️
It’s the mid-sized reminders of him that always cause a lump in my throat and throw me off for the day.
E.g., I’m at the doctor roughly nine blocks directly north of his apt and I can see the spires of the church across his bedroom. I reminisce on opening the shades each morning…
E.g., I’m at the doctor roughly nine blocks directly north of his apt and I can see the spires of the church across his bedroom. I reminisce on opening the shades each morning…
April 9, 2024 at 5:37 PM
It’s the mid-sized reminders of him that always cause a lump in my throat and throw me off for the day.
E.g., I’m at the doctor roughly nine blocks directly north of his apt and I can see the spires of the church across his bedroom. I reminisce on opening the shades each morning…
E.g., I’m at the doctor roughly nine blocks directly north of his apt and I can see the spires of the church across his bedroom. I reminisce on opening the shades each morning…
It sincerely baffles me how quickly I fluctuate between “I’m absolutely going to crush this and move on” and “fuck, I am so sad and I miss him so much.” Like damn, what’s one to do to not think about their ex anymore :(
April 9, 2024 at 5:08 PM
It sincerely baffles me how quickly I fluctuate between “I’m absolutely going to crush this and move on” and “fuck, I am so sad and I miss him so much.” Like damn, what’s one to do to not think about their ex anymore :(
Seeing the person across from me text their presumed SO (or maybe an affair partner!) “te amo muchisimo” as we taxi off the gate is gutting in a way I didn’t anticipate.
And this is the journey of grief, a repeated reminder of the loss experienced. Que sera, sera.
And this is the journey of grief, a repeated reminder of the loss experienced. Que sera, sera.
April 9, 2024 at 5:34 AM
Seeing the person across from me text their presumed SO (or maybe an affair partner!) “te amo muchisimo” as we taxi off the gate is gutting in a way I didn’t anticipate.
And this is the journey of grief, a repeated reminder of the loss experienced. Que sera, sera.
And this is the journey of grief, a repeated reminder of the loss experienced. Que sera, sera.
It’s funny that I long for my ex when I travel, fantasizing of him picking me up / dropping me off at the airport, but can count on two fingers the times he dropped me off / picked me up in the previous year of travel. He had a habit of somehow being asleep / unavailable when I needed him.
April 9, 2024 at 5:27 AM
It’s funny that I long for my ex when I travel, fantasizing of him picking me up / dropping me off at the airport, but can count on two fingers the times he dropped me off / picked me up in the previous year of travel. He had a habit of somehow being asleep / unavailable when I needed him.
Last time I flew through this airport I had returned to overfunctioning with my ex (literally handled everything) even though two days prior he’d said it wasn’t going to be that way. Perhaps that’s why he chose to cheat on me. Because he knew he couldn’t live up to what he said he’d do for me / us.
April 9, 2024 at 2:35 AM
Last time I flew through this airport I had returned to overfunctioning with my ex (literally handled everything) even though two days prior he’d said it wasn’t going to be that way. Perhaps that’s why he chose to cheat on me. Because he knew he couldn’t live up to what he said he’d do for me / us.
Not me still having panic attacks at the intrusive thought of them fucking. What a fucking shitty shitty situation. I just want this all to end.
April 8, 2024 at 5:58 AM
Not me still having panic attacks at the intrusive thought of them fucking. What a fucking shitty shitty situation. I just want this all to end.
So much continued agony. Being surrounded by friends and their partners, being reminded of every detail about him, thinking about all the ways he’d get along with my people, it’s just painstaking to go through still. I really need this to get better because all I can feel is anger at my experience.
April 7, 2024 at 10:29 PM
So much continued agony. Being surrounded by friends and their partners, being reminded of every detail about him, thinking about all the ways he’d get along with my people, it’s just painstaking to go through still. I really need this to get better because all I can feel is anger at my experience.
To think he still sees himself as a victim in all of this. That somehow he’s “not the bad guy,” when his actions, time and time again show him to be nothing but bad to me (and arguably his new girlfriend). Like what the fuck is his therapist doing? Just kidding, he’s probably lying to her too.
March 22, 2024 at 5:45 AM
To think he still sees himself as a victim in all of this. That somehow he’s “not the bad guy,” when his actions, time and time again show him to be nothing but bad to me (and arguably his new girlfriend). Like what the fuck is his therapist doing? Just kidding, he’s probably lying to her too.
One of the most painful parts of infidelity is the “random” flashbacks you get at all hours of the day that throw you right back into the hyper vigilant state where you feel so, so unsafe.
March 22, 2024 at 4:55 AM
One of the most painful parts of infidelity is the “random” flashbacks you get at all hours of the day that throw you right back into the hyper vigilant state where you feel so, so unsafe.
I hope my absence gives you the peace my love never could. I pray you one day find your happy without sacrificing others’.
And I’m not in your life as a way of condoning what you did or are doing, nor because I’ve forgotten or forgiven what you did, but because I’m so fucking tired of this.
And I’m not in your life as a way of condoning what you did or are doing, nor because I’ve forgotten or forgiven what you did, but because I’m so fucking tired of this.
March 15, 2024 at 9:39 PM
I hope my absence gives you the peace my love never could. I pray you one day find your happy without sacrificing others’.
And I’m not in your life as a way of condoning what you did or are doing, nor because I’ve forgotten or forgiven what you did, but because I’m so fucking tired of this.
And I’m not in your life as a way of condoning what you did or are doing, nor because I’ve forgotten or forgiven what you did, but because I’m so fucking tired of this.
AND THE FUCKING NERVE to say that one of the reasons why I can’t be in your life is because I didn’t respond “appropriately” (read: without protest) to finding and seeking out more and more intimacy with a known affair partner. Make it make fucking sense!!! Fucking clown ass rationale.
March 13, 2024 at 11:02 AM
AND THE FUCKING NERVE to say that one of the reasons why I can’t be in your life is because I didn’t respond “appropriately” (read: without protest) to finding and seeking out more and more intimacy with a known affair partner. Make it make fucking sense!!! Fucking clown ass rationale.
How do you tell yourself and others that one of the reasons you broke up was because you didn’t feel intimate with your partner, but refuse to take accountability for why that intimacy lacked (affair) and not doing anything about it (refusing to end said affair and invest in said relationship)?? 🤡
March 13, 2024 at 11:00 AM
How do you tell yourself and others that one of the reasons you broke up was because you didn’t feel intimate with your partner, but refuse to take accountability for why that intimacy lacked (affair) and not doing anything about it (refusing to end said affair and invest in said relationship)?? 🤡