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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 8h

“I run into Spider-Man in New York today. I ask him how he’s doing, & he starts whining about his job, his non-existent marriage, his aunt, on & on. I can see why he’s never a full timer in any super team. He’s so gloomy.”

“I once read his mind & was depressed for weeks.”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 1d

Judging by this old publicity photo I’m going to assume that The Long Good Friday was an upbeat comedy.

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 3d

“Damn it Lionel, you knocked on my door. Yes, I’m a zombie, but we’ve been neighbours for eight years. I’ve coached your son’s little league team. Every time you see me, you scream like a brain dead twit.”

“Sorry Steve.”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 8d

Here’s something that might shock you. The couch hoax earned JD Vance an 8 million dollar advance from his publisher to write another book. As well as millions in new sales from his first book.😱

Make or share a Vance couch joke, & you might as well send him money. 💰

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 8d

“In Star Trek the Federation doesn’t use money, yet still trades with other interstellar nations. How? Barter? Money was invented because barter is inadequate for complex transactions. What does Kirk say: ‘Give me dilithium & I’ll give you this pair of tube socks.’ That’s nuts!”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 8d

I saw this a few days ago & it made me mad. I blacked out the name of the childish insult’s target, because she doesn’t need to see it.

Which leaves me with just one more thing to say:

This rage baiting troll can fuck himself.

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 8d

One of my film school teachers worked on Orca doing the behind the scenes documentary. The production had shut down several times for various reasons, so in the down time, she made a documentary about the local fishing net makers, and sold it to the National Film Board using the Orca cameras & film.

weinberg @weinberg.social · 9d

no you're in bed listening to an Orca audio commentary.

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 9d

“Hi Bill.”

“Oh, hi Tom.”

“Um, how are you feeling today Bill?”

“You know Tom, I think I must have slept wrong, my neck’s been sore all day.”

“Oh really.”

Reposted by Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 14d

“Diogenes, we need to talk.”

“What do stray dogs want from me?”

“We’ve been talking, & we all have a really keen sense of smell—”

“Take a fucking bath you pretentious bum! You smell worse than the midden at the fish market!”

“Please Roger, we agreed that I’d do the talking…”

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Reposted by Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 10d

“If Lord Shifty has an alibi for St. Swithin’s day, then who shot the Bishop in the apse, & stabbed the Vicar in the rectory?”

“That’s what we need to find out Duckie.”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 10d

“While I can understand the community being outraged at the guy who shot the sheriff, but if he really did not shoot the deputy, then the killer is still walking around a free man!”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 10d

“If Mr. Freeze has to be in sub-zero temperatures to survive, how did he survive long enough to build his refrigerated suit? I can’t get a logical answer from DC Comics, even though I email them every day with this important question.”

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Reposted by Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 12d

“Alas Major, I lost my leg in the battle.”

“Actually General, your leg is fine, and is recuperating nicely. It’s the rest of your body that is fucked.”

“Oh bugger.”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 10d

“If Lord Shifty has an alibi for St. Swithin’s day, then who shot the Bishop in the apse, & stabbed the Vicar in the rectory?”

“That’s what we need to find out Duckie.”

1 2

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 12d

“Caesar, we have to go now. The Germanians are causing trouble on the border… Is he even listening?”

“He ate some of his special mushrooms this morning, he’ll be away with the fairies for at least a few more hours.”

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 12d

“Alas Major, I lost my leg in the battle.”

“Actually General, your leg is fine, and is recuperating nicely. It’s the rest of your body that is fucked.”

“Oh bugger.”

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Reposted by Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 15d

“Harder daddy. Pull the rope harder!”

“Will you cut that out & act like a normal horse for once?”

“And give up my favourite source of entertainment?”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 14d

“Diogenes, we need to talk.”

“What do stray dogs want from me?”

“We’ve been talking, & we all have a really keen sense of smell—”

“Take a fucking bath you pretentious bum! You smell worse than the midden at the fish market!”

“Please Roger, we agreed that I’d do the talking…”

1

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 15d

“Harder daddy. Pull the rope harder!”

“Will you cut that out & act like a normal horse for once?”

“And give up my favourite source of entertainment?”

1

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 17d

Damn it! He’s back at my window again.

Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 17d

A hand-me-down copy of this was the first comic I ever had. I literally taught myself to read with the work of Denny O'Neill and Neal Adams.

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 19d

The Royal Minstrel after I said he was to be charged with lute & lascivious behaviour.

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 19d

“Gee Wilbur, your ‘grand plan,’ to end the war worked. Though I don’t think you planned to have the other side win.”

“Shut up Ed, or we’re going to the glue factory.”

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 21d

It's easy to come up with a non-horror kid friendly story.

Hoppy Bunny goes out on a bright and sunny day to play. But Hoppy's play involves axes, knives, a chainsaw, and one time a power drill.

Because Hoppy Bunny needs human blood to satiate his hunger for murder. 😱

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Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social · 21d

“I’m sorry King Arthur, but even I, Merlin the great wizard, do not have the power to tell Queen Guinevere that she can’t carry a tune in a bucket.”