it's because i'm favored by the angels and the rest of you aren't

people just think ai is "good enough" now too, and they've got no interest in viewing art as an expression by another human being who is trying to communicate with them. being an artist is just trying to speak to people who are plugging their ears and squeezing their eyes shut because it's "easier"

and nowadays i do still feel jealousy and self hate and discouragement and ego but it's at a level i can live with. and i'm capable of looking at and admiring and learning from others' works without those feelings taking over. but i guess back then i didn't think i'd ever get to this point