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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 1d

Dylan problems: finding your glasses in the park during a dog walk . . . glasses you didn’t even know you’d dropped on the same route seven hours earlier

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 1d

Oh, I buy all the weird fruit. (Regrettably, in more cases than I'd like)

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 2d

Seeing how we're just not going to talk about how orange crops in the US have been decimated, let's instead talk about this Aussie orange I picked up on the weekend. Chongo's at Crossroads calls it a chocolate navel, and it's deliciously sweet and juicy. I haven't seen them anywhere else in Calgary.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 5d

God bless Dollarama's $4 Halloween dog sweaters.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 9d

So...Wednesday is just Harry Potter, but in muted, desaturated tones?

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 12d

The out of breath howling I just got at my "guess I'm going for the Boris Johnson look today" joke about my hair . . . I think I’ve peaked. this is as good as it gets for my comedy career.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 18d

We're going to need a bigger boat

A French bulldog/pug named Murdock sitting on the arm of a couch that's too small

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 20d

This is why I have a wallet with a chain hooked to my jeans. Also because I look totally badass, but that's just a bonus

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 21d

God, we're way past seems

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 21d

Welcome to the fascist state.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 22d

Snacking on leftover eggplant parm at 2:10 a.m. - highly recommend.

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · 27d

Remember the good old days when the 11pm news brought on some guest to show us how to properly wash our hands?

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Sep 5

Heh, hopefully the bug bite doesn’t turn into a full-on obsession!

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Sep 4

I am 12. #Lego

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Sep 3

This is beyond bending the knee, this is slipping a finger up his ass

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 28

I'm willing to concede that I wasn't the target audience, but that excuse only stretches so far. It was weak from a storytelling perspective, with awful pacing pacing and little coherence.

My 7-year-old niece loved it, the 12-year-old fell asleep, a kid after my own heart.

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 28

K-Pop Demon Hunters is bad. And I don't just mean a little bad, it is very, very bad.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 27

I am at Chinook Centre with my nieces, and I hate you all

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 24

I love Clue.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 23

I’ll be extremely disappointed if Jason Momoa’s character doesn’t surf into battle on a shield, severed head in one hand, flinging spears at the enemy with the other--hopefully one played by an ex-WWF wrestler--in Chief of War.

How do I indicate this is sarcasm for the knuckle draggers?

Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 22

...That's actually pretty close.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 21

I’m in the early stages of doing the absolute most batshit craziest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m not going to tell you until it actually happens, cause there’s like an 80% chance I take the first off-ramp on this yellow brick road

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 21

Eau Claire - huge loss for inner-city. Ever make it to the Globe?

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 18

Whenever I venture north of John Laurie/McKnight, I get cranky. North of Beddington, exhausted. North of Stoney Tr.? Fuuuck.

When I was at the theatre, I recalled I had a co-worker once upon a time who went to weekend morning shows quite often. I could get used to that, it was dead.

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Dylan @dylanrandom.bsky.social · Aug 17

Out in the farthest reaches of suburbia, I’m at the theatre at 10:00 a.m. to see a 35-year-old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

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