Dylan Morrison
@dylanthyme.bsky.social
Queer romcom author, snack connoisseur, Terry Pratchett enthusiast, neurotic optimist. 🎥 RECIPE FOR TROUBLE 🍳 and 🍎 FALL INTO YOU 🌳 available now! https://www.dylanmorrison.net/
i have to admit, in grim moments sometimes i DO get through the day by imagining what would happen if vetinari was let loose on modern society. [wistful sigh] something better
January 19, 2026 at 6:08 PM
i have to admit, in grim moments sometimes i DO get through the day by imagining what would happen if vetinari was let loose on modern society. [wistful sigh] something better
thank you very much; as i'm sure you can tell, i've spent a perfectly normal and reasonable amount of my life thinking about the works of terry pratchett
January 19, 2026 at 6:04 PM
thank you very much; as i'm sure you can tell, i've spent a perfectly normal and reasonable amount of my life thinking about the works of terry pratchett
in this as in all things, i am mostly vimes but trying to achieve carrot
January 19, 2026 at 5:59 PM
in this as in all things, i am mostly vimes but trying to achieve carrot
and, finally, the only character on the disc whose opinion on AI really matters, since it would have been issued early on, just before a meeting that would have rendered the reset of this thread moot:
VETINARI: ah, drumknott. if you might be so good as to fetch the scorpions?
VETINARI: ah, drumknott. if you might be so good as to fetch the scorpions?
January 19, 2026 at 5:53 PM
and, finally, the only character on the disc whose opinion on AI really matters, since it would have been issued early on, just before a meeting that would have rendered the reset of this thread moot:
VETINARI: ah, drumknott. if you might be so good as to fetch the scorpions?
VETINARI: ah, drumknott. if you might be so good as to fetch the scorpions?
DEATH OF RATS: squeak!! SQUEAK SQUEAK, squeak SQUEAK squeak squeak!!
QUOTH THE RAVEN: he says he'll only give his blessing to AI if you bring us a bowl of eyeballs right now
DEATH OF RATS: squeak?! squeak!! SQUEAK--
QUOTH, NODDING: yes, he feels very strongly about you bringing me the eyeballs
QUOTH THE RAVEN: he says he'll only give his blessing to AI if you bring us a bowl of eyeballs right now
DEATH OF RATS: squeak?! squeak!! SQUEAK--
QUOTH, NODDING: yes, he feels very strongly about you bringing me the eyeballs
January 19, 2026 at 5:53 PM
DEATH OF RATS: squeak!! SQUEAK SQUEAK, squeak SQUEAK squeak squeak!!
QUOTH THE RAVEN: he says he'll only give his blessing to AI if you bring us a bowl of eyeballs right now
DEATH OF RATS: squeak?! squeak!! SQUEAK--
QUOTH, NODDING: yes, he feels very strongly about you bringing me the eyeballs
QUOTH THE RAVEN: he says he'll only give his blessing to AI if you bring us a bowl of eyeballs right now
DEATH OF RATS: squeak?! squeak!! SQUEAK--
QUOTH, NODDING: yes, he feels very strongly about you bringing me the eyeballs
DEATH: unfazed to slightly baffled by AI; can't quite wrap his head (well. skull) around the idea of NOT having complete knowledge of everything that ever was or will be, and thus seeking a machine's assistance. he IS, however, annoyed that it's upset susan
January 19, 2026 at 5:52 PM
DEATH: unfazed to slightly baffled by AI; can't quite wrap his head (well. skull) around the idea of NOT having complete knowledge of everything that ever was or will be, and thus seeking a machine's assistance. he IS, however, annoyed that it's upset susan
SUSAN STO HELIT: says she's not angry, just disappointed, whenever the topic of AI comes up. this is a lie; she is furious. any student she finds using it is visited by terrible apparitions that say things like I AM SORRY. I DON'T WANT ME TO BE HERE EITHER. BUT THESE ARE THE THINGS WE DO FOR FAMILY
January 19, 2026 at 5:50 PM
SUSAN STO HELIT: says she's not angry, just disappointed, whenever the topic of AI comes up. this is a lie; she is furious. any student she finds using it is visited by terrible apparitions that say things like I AM SORRY. I DON'T WANT ME TO BE HERE EITHER. BUT THESE ARE THE THINGS WE DO FOR FAMILY
GASPODE: "woof woof i am but a little dogge, but it looks to ME like the AI said 'give all the sausages you've got to that little dogge.' i don't know; seems smart. i think you better listen. bark bark"
January 19, 2026 at 5:49 PM
GASPODE: "woof woof i am but a little dogge, but it looks to ME like the AI said 'give all the sausages you've got to that little dogge.' i don't know; seems smart. i think you better listen. bark bark"
MOIST VON LIPWIG: very excited about AI at first and attempts to get in on the ground floor; realizes quickly that it promises more than it delivers and is a Scheme; tries to Do The Right Thing (half morality, half fear of vetinari thinking he was trying to do crime) and has to be rescued by adora
January 19, 2026 at 5:48 PM
MOIST VON LIPWIG: very excited about AI at first and attempts to get in on the ground floor; realizes quickly that it promises more than it delivers and is a Scheme; tries to Do The Right Thing (half morality, half fear of vetinari thinking he was trying to do crime) and has to be rescued by adora
THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE FACULTY, STAFF AND STUDENTS AT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY: don't bother with AI, believing it to be another strange, incomprehensible angle of ponder stibbons' work
PONDER STIBBONS:
PONDER STIBBONS:
January 19, 2026 at 5:47 PM
THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE FACULTY, STAFF AND STUDENTS AT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY: don't bother with AI, believing it to be another strange, incomprehensible angle of ponder stibbons' work
PONDER STIBBONS:
PONDER STIBBONS:
DETRITUS THE TROLL: at regular temperatures, has no thoughts on AI. however, shove him in a freezer for 15 minutes and then ask, and he'll deliver a 10 minute monologue on its flaws and the dangers it poses to society
January 19, 2026 at 5:44 PM
DETRITUS THE TROLL: at regular temperatures, has no thoughts on AI. however, shove him in a freezer for 15 minutes and then ask, and he'll deliver a 10 minute monologue on its flaws and the dangers it poses to society
FRED COLON & NOBBY NOBBS: use AI every day for the first half of the narrative, leading them into all kinds of disasters, hijinks and mistakes. by then end of the narrative both shudder whenever it's mentioned and then claim never to have heard of it before
January 19, 2026 at 5:43 PM
FRED COLON & NOBBY NOBBS: use AI every day for the first half of the narrative, leading them into all kinds of disasters, hijinks and mistakes. by then end of the narrative both shudder whenever it's mentioned and then claim never to have heard of it before
ANGUA: thinks AI is darkly hysterical, although it gives her the ick (the undead hate the unalive). has a hard time taking it seriously or believing that anyone could really think it's worth using
January 19, 2026 at 5:43 PM
ANGUA: thinks AI is darkly hysterical, although it gives her the ick (the undead hate the unalive). has a hard time taking it seriously or believing that anyone could really think it's worth using
CAPTAIN CARROT: has roughly 10 conversations per day where in spite of appearing totally ignorant on the topic of AI, he manages to say something seemingly innocent that nevertheless makes the listener decide to throw their whole computer away
January 19, 2026 at 5:42 PM
CAPTAIN CARROT: has roughly 10 conversations per day where in spite of appearing totally ignorant on the topic of AI, he manages to say something seemingly innocent that nevertheless makes the listener decide to throw their whole computer away
LADY SYBIL: neither seeing the point of using AI nor having any desire to discuss it, instead takes any mention as an opportunity to bring up how comparatively cheap, non-destructive, water efficient, and otherwise environmentally friendly dragons are
January 19, 2026 at 5:41 PM
LADY SYBIL: neither seeing the point of using AI nor having any desire to discuss it, instead takes any mention as an opportunity to bring up how comparatively cheap, non-destructive, water efficient, and otherwise environmentally friendly dragons are
SAM VIMES: doesn't understand AI or what it does well enough to discuss it, but deeply suspicious of it anyway. DOES understand the people behind it well enough to be certain they're doing Crimes, even if he hasn't fully worked out which ones (yet)
January 19, 2026 at 5:39 PM
SAM VIMES: doesn't understand AI or what it does well enough to discuss it, but deeply suspicious of it anyway. DOES understand the people behind it well enough to be certain they're doing Crimes, even if he hasn't fully worked out which ones (yet)
MAGRAT: uses it for 2 weeks, thinks she's maybe falling in love with it, then realizes that when she said to install "AI" shawn ogg thought she meant "Another Intercom," and she's just been talking to verence with his voice lightly distorted due to speaker problems
January 19, 2026 at 5:39 PM
MAGRAT: uses it for 2 weeks, thinks she's maybe falling in love with it, then realizes that when she said to install "AI" shawn ogg thought she meant "Another Intercom," and she's just been talking to verence with his voice lightly distorted due to speaker problems
NANNY OGG: used AI once; it spat her own recipe for bananana surprise back at her, but wrong & claiming it as its own work. appalled by the inaccuracy more than the plagiarizing -- folks'll never get the bananana to surprise them like that! -- has never used it again
January 19, 2026 at 5:38 PM
NANNY OGG: used AI once; it spat her own recipe for bananana surprise back at her, but wrong & claiming it as its own work. appalled by the inaccuracy more than the plagiarizing -- folks'll never get the bananana to surprise them like that! -- has never used it again
GRANNY WEATHERWAX: would consider AI nonsense that she didn't hold with and refuse to even think of it, let alone use it. what could she want with a machine that did for her worse than she'd do for herself? if she wanted that experience, she could just ask a man in town for help
January 19, 2026 at 5:38 PM
GRANNY WEATHERWAX: would consider AI nonsense that she didn't hold with and refuse to even think of it, let alone use it. what could she want with a machine that did for her worse than she'd do for herself? if she wanted that experience, she could just ask a man in town for help
i go back and forth between wishing he was alive to see/talk about all this and feeling like maybe it's a mercy for him that he didn't have to. either way however, this HAS made me want to think about discworld takes for hours and then write a whole thread when more awake lmao
January 19, 2026 at 4:08 AM
i go back and forth between wishing he was alive to see/talk about all this and feeling like maybe it's a mercy for him that he didn't have to. either way however, this HAS made me want to think about discworld takes for hours and then write a whole thread when more awake lmao