ebenparker.bsky.social
@ebenparker.bsky.social
Comedian, filmmaker, mouth breather
your email can try but it will never find me

I am locked out of my Gmail account
May 15, 2025 at 8:05 PM
A comedian with body dysmorphia:

“I don’t know what I look like”
March 14, 2025 at 4:35 PM
“It’s not great for me either. I don’t even like liver”
-the bird to Prometheus
March 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
On the bright side, I don’t think Pride will be super corporate this year
February 19, 2025 at 5:51 PM
In the words of a concise baby:

Goo-Ga
January 24, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Absolute vodka corrupts freshmen.
January 12, 2025 at 5:15 PM
If you mix certain household cleaning supplies, it produces toxic fumes. If you don’t, you have to go to work tomorrow.
January 12, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Creeps crouch in the bushes. Real men crouch in the open
January 10, 2025 at 4:15 PM
People get angry when you text and drive but they get angrier when you stop
January 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Philosophy from the Champagne region of France is actually sparkling why
December 9, 2024 at 12:01 AM