The Editor Says No
@editorsaysno.bsky.social
Rejecting today’s headlines as if they were bad fiction.
“Please revise.” —The Editor
“Please revise.” —The Editor
"Author, removing the book section is a little on the nose. Too early in your narrative for anti-book rhetoric." The Editor
WaPo also closing Books section and downsizing International and Metro sections
February 4, 2026 at 3:43 PM
"Author, removing the book section is a little on the nose. Too early in your narrative for anti-book rhetoric." The Editor
"Author, his first name is Jesus? Come on." -The Editor.
BREAKING: The two federal immigration agents who fired on Minneapolis protester Alex Pretti are identified in government records as Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa and Customs and Border Protection officer Raymundo Gutierrez.
Two CBP Agents Identified in Alex Pretti Shooting
The two federal immigration agents who fired on Minneapolis protester Alex Pretti are identified in government records as Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa and Customs and Border Protection officer Raym...
www.propublica.org
February 1, 2026 at 9:31 PM
"Author, his first name is Jesus? Come on." -The Editor.
"Author, while I think the absurdity of the Nobel peace prize snub works as a motivator for certain situations, I doubt anyone would believe he wants to invade ANOTHER a country over it." -The Editor
Donald Trump links threats to seize Greenland to Nobel prize snub in letter
Donald Trump links threats to seize Greenland to Nobel prize snub in letter
US president says he no longer feels the need to think ‘purely of peace’ in letter to Norwegian prime minister
Donald Trump has linked his repeated threats to seize control of Greenland to his failure to win the Nobel peace prize, as transatlantic tensions over the Arctic island escalated further and threatened to rekindle a trade war with the EU.
In an extraordinary text message sent on Sunday to the Norwegian prime minister, Jonas Gahr Støre, the US president wrote that after being snubbed for the prize, he no longer felt the need to think “purely of peace”. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
January 20, 2026 at 7:16 PM
"Author, while I think the absurdity of the Nobel peace prize snub works as a motivator for certain situations, I doubt anyone would believe he wants to invade ANOTHER a country over it." -The Editor
"... Good? You named her 'Good'? Ok you know what, just roll with that." -The Editor
January 13, 2026 at 8:52 PM
"... Good? You named her 'Good'? Ok you know what, just roll with that." -The Editor
"Greenland?! You're not even done with the Venezuela subplot yet." -The Editor
Trump: "We are going to do something on Greenland whether they like it or not because if we don't it, Russia or China will take over Greenland. If we don't do it the easy way we're gonna do it the hard way."
January 12, 2026 at 7:41 PM
"Greenland?! You're not even done with the Venezuela subplot yet." -The Editor
Machine#guns
Also, do you mean Fentanyl?
Also, do you mean Fentanyl?
you ever just arrest a foreign leader for owning a machinegun
January 7, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Machine#guns
Also, do you mean Fentanyl?
Also, do you mean Fentanyl?
"Author, you need to have more respect for your readers. At least make an attempt to conceal that the overall motive is about the oil for a few chapters." -The Editor
US seeks to control sales of Venezuelan oil ‘indefinitely’ ft.trib.al/pFPnNrH
US seeks to control sales of Venezuelan oil ‘indefinitely’
Crude revenues to be funnelled to American banks as Washington lifts some sanctions on Caracas
ft.trib.al
January 7, 2026 at 3:40 PM
"Author, you need to have more respect for your readers. At least make an attempt to conceal that the overall motive is about the oil for a few chapters." -The Editor
"Author, we discussed this. Drug wars and regime change are too cliche and still don't mesh with the "Don the Dove" thing you're trying to push." -The Editor
Trump just kidnapped President Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela
January 7, 2026 at 3:38 PM
"Author, we discussed this. Drug wars and regime change are too cliche and still don't mesh with the "Don the Dove" thing you're trying to push." -The Editor
::rubs temples::
::pours more Scotch::
::pours more Scotch::
January 7, 2026 at 3:35 PM
::rubs temples::
::pours more Scotch::
::pours more Scotch::
"Suzanne Collins would like a word." -The Editor
Donald Trump just announced the creation of the “Patriot Games,” an “unprecedented four-day athletic event” with “one young man and one young woman from each state and territory.”
December 19, 2025 at 12:44 AM
"Suzanne Collins would like a word." -The Editor
"Author, you've already made this point about his vanity with several other examples. Yawn." -The Editor
The arts institution will be called the Trump-Kennedy Center. The president's press secretary said it comes after a unanimous vote by the center's board, which Trump took over earlier this year. n.pr/4qhD3bd
President Trump to add his own name to the Kennedy Center
The arts institution will be called the Trump-Kennedy Center. The president's press secretary said it comes after a unanimous vote by the center's board, which Trump took over earlier this year.
n.pr
December 18, 2025 at 9:29 PM
"Author, you've already made this point about his vanity with several other examples. Yawn." -The Editor
"Ok now you're just messing with me. Absolutely not." -The Editor
Sen. Chris Murphy said Hegseth + Rubio admitted to senators yesterday that no fentanyl is coming out of Venezuela -- despite Trump’s misleading efforts to tie the country to the deadly drug so he can justify bombing boats.
The boats have cocaine, bound for Europe. www.huffpost.com/entry/chris-...
The boats have cocaine, bound for Europe. www.huffpost.com/entry/chris-...
Senator Reaches Damning Conclusions After Classified Briefing With Hegseth, Rubio
Sen. Chris Murphy trashed a meeting with the Cabinet duo about the Trump administration's boat bombings.
www.huffpost.com
December 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
"Ok now you're just messing with me. Absolutely not." -The Editor
"Author, I thought you were joking when you forshadowed this. Not believable." -The Editor
President Trump describes fentanyl as a weapon of mass destruction that fuels lawlessness, saying the opioid is “closer to a chemical weapon than a narcotic.” But some experts say it is a stretch to call an addictive drug a weapon of mass destruction.
Trump declared fentanyl a weapon of mass destruction. What does it mean?
The declaration of fentanyl a weapon of mass destruction is the latest move by President Donald Trump casting the nation’s deadly drug crisis as a national security issue.
wapo.st
December 17, 2025 at 3:09 PM
"Author, I thought you were joking when you forshadowed this. Not believable." -The Editor
"Author, careful with casual mentions of geography, Venezeula is on the Atlantic. Can refer you to a geographic consultant for the final manuscript if needed." -The Editor
No judge. No jury. Just the Secretary of War.
December 17, 2025 at 2:57 PM
"Author, careful with casual mentions of geography, Venezeula is on the Atlantic. Can refer you to a geographic consultant for the final manuscript if needed." -The Editor
"Author, I thought you'd decided on the 'war as distraction' angle for avoiding the President's crimes? Pick a lane, this feels like the flimsier of the two ideas." -The Editor
December 17, 2025 at 2:52 PM
"Author, I thought you'd decided on the 'war as distraction' angle for avoiding the President's crimes? Pick a lane, this feels like the flimsier of the two ideas." -The Editor
“Author, the line ‘We have to be unified’ is vague. Unified with whom? The states, the public, or the software?” -The Editor
President Trump signs an executive order that would override state laws deemed restrictive of artificial intelligence. “We have to be unified,” Trump said.
Trump Signs Executive Order to Curtail State AI Laws
The order would allow the Justice Department to punish states with rules deemed restrictive for AI, in a move to bring the U.S. under one federal standard.
on.wsj.com
December 12, 2025 at 2:30 PM
“Author, the line ‘We have to be unified’ is vague. Unified with whom? The states, the public, or the software?” -The Editor
"Author, as previously discussed, this character is not adding anything to your storyline. Recommend you 86 this plotline entirely. " -The Editor
Breaking News: Mike Lindell, the chief executive of MyPillow and a close ally of President Trump, is running for governor of Minnesota. He joins a crowded Republican race to challenge Gov. Tim Walz, the Democrat who is running for a third term.
Mike Lindell, MyPillow Founder, Announces Run for Minnesota Governor
He is a close ally of President Trump and has been a leading proponent of the election denial movement, which falsely claims that voting machines are often rigged.
nyti.ms
December 11, 2025 at 5:21 PM
"Author, as previously discussed, this character is not adding anything to your storyline. Recommend you 86 this plotline entirely. " -The Editor
"Author, you can’t have the President threaten to overthrow Colombia because he remembered drugs exist there too. Also see notes re: continuity issue with the Peace Prize.” -The Editor
Trump on the President of Colombia: "He better wise up or he'll be next. He's gonna be next because we don't like when they kill people and they sell drugs, they sell them in the U.S., and Colombia is a major manufacturer of drugs."
December 11, 2025 at 5:18 PM
"Author, you can’t have the President threaten to overthrow Colombia because he remembered drugs exist there too. Also see notes re: continuity issue with the Peace Prize.” -The Editor
"Author, you can't weave in a fake peace prize on top of an active boat bombing campaign. Doesn't pass the straight-face test." -The Editor
FIFA made up a prize for Trump-a first! The FIFA Peace Prize.
Everyone is doing whatever possible to keep Trump happy
Everyone is doing whatever possible to keep Trump happy
December 10, 2025 at 9:22 PM
"Author, you can't weave in a fake peace prize on top of an active boat bombing campaign. Doesn't pass the straight-face test." -The Editor
"Author, a senator reversing government policy by switching a font back to Times New Roman is not a believable source of national conflict. This reads like parody. Rejected." -The Editor
Marco Rubio ordered diplomats to return to using Times New Roman font in official communications, calling his predecessor's decision to adopt Calibri a “wasteful” diversity move
Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri
The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.
www.huffpost.com
December 10, 2025 at 9:09 PM
"Author, a senator reversing government policy by switching a font back to Times New Roman is not a believable source of national conflict. This reads like parody. Rejected." -The Editor
"Author, two chapters ago you insisted the immigration system was ‘overwhelmed.’ Now it’s offering VIP fast passes for a million dollars. Pick a lane. —Notes attached." -The Editor
trumpcard.gov
trumpcard.gov
The Trump Gold Card
The Trump Gold Card application
trumpcard.gov
December 10, 2025 at 8:59 PM
"Author, two chapters ago you insisted the immigration system was ‘overwhelmed.’ Now it’s offering VIP fast passes for a million dollars. Pick a lane. —Notes attached." -The Editor
trumpcard.gov
trumpcard.gov
"Look, Author… You can’t just slap an ‘I Want YOU to Use AI’ poster in the Pentagon and call it worldbuilding. Readers will laugh. Cutting this." -The Editor
Fifty different problems in the world just locked into one big uniform piece like a Rubik's cube in my head.
December 10, 2025 at 8:56 PM
"Look, Author… You can’t just slap an ‘I Want YOU to Use AI’ poster in the Pentagon and call it worldbuilding. Readers will laugh. Cutting this." -The Editor