Ed Stern
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edstern.bsky.social
Ed Stern
@edstern.bsky.social
3.5K followers 1.2K following 1.3K posts
Basic Prog Brit Woke Remoaner Centrist Dad.
He/Him, Bi, ADHD, the usual.
Former Splash Damage game dev.
Full-Stack Narrative Designer/Game Writer available for hire:
https://www.sternword.co.uk/
Posts Replies Media Videos
edstern.bsky.social
Post a tree you photographed.
Photo of a South London residential street with standard South London two-storey terraced houses. One has a simply colossal palm tree by its front door, seriously, like the size of the damm house, like you’ve mixed up a GI Joe toy accessory with Warhammer miniatures, seriously how big is this palm tree? It’s, it’s, it’s like the exact height and volume of the house. They might as well not have windows, they’re getting no daylight past that thing. Jesus H Christ I’m telling ya, that’s an absolutely colossal tree.
February 11, 2026 at 2:49 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Sneezed too hard and now I’m in the past.
Sepia selfie of bearded middle-aged man, glasses askew, looking about him in dismay and confusion.
February 11, 2026 at 12:41 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Oil painting (probably) of semaphore railway signal post next to a set of train tracks.
February 9, 2026 at 7:24 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Sorry, it’s set me off again.
Photo of a South London residential street with standard South London two-storey terraced houses. One has a simply colossal palm tree by its front door, seriously, like the size of the damm house, like you’ve mixed up a GI Joe toy accessory with Warhammer miniatures, seriously how big is this palm tree? It’s, it’s, it’s like the exact height and volume of the house. They might as well not have windows, they’re getting no daylight past that thing. Jesus H Christ that’s an inordinately large tree.
February 8, 2026 at 11:32 PM
edstern.bsky.social
C'mon man.
Screengrab of a Temu page advertising a Valentine's Day special offer of a bag of dessicant silica gel packets.
January 28, 2026 at 10:18 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Already missing this absurd scribble of a dog.
January 27, 2026 at 7:05 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Extraordinary work.
Screengrab from Reddit subforum “CatBongos” showing a photo of a black cat with the title “Achoo says lots of folks went from "molon labe" to "just comply" real quick, didn't they?”
January 26, 2026 at 7:53 PM
edstern.bsky.social
So, because Reasons, we are briefly puppy-sitting this tiny inky pool of hair and teeth.
SmolDottir knows and adores her…

…but doesn’t know puppy is here. Gonna lose her god damn mind.
Photo of very small very black tiny puppy on white kitchen floor. Photo of Ed looking mission-serious holding pensive-looking black puppy Photo of small black puppy lying on red sofa.
January 23, 2026 at 3:19 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Things I had never previously considered pt 97673
Screengrab of a social media feed. In reply to someone posting “We need to have an honest conversation about the Mormon Problem in the intelligence community.” Someone else has replied “Do you have any idea how valuable it is to have a constant supply of intensely patriotic white people who don't drink or do drugs who have an explanation for why they can speak the language of a random third world country and a rock solid excuse for being there?”
January 1, 2026 at 2:35 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Oh, they’re posting again.
Photo of author, a bearded and bespectacled white guy in his 50s, resplendent in Elmer-multicoloured scarf, brown corduroy shirt, and dark plaid waistcoat, looking at something with an expression of complacent indulgence.
December 30, 2025 at 12:07 PM
edstern.bsky.social
So how was your Christmas?
Photo of scrap of paper with child’s scrawl in green marker pen: “Christmas is the worst day of the year I hate it OK”
December 26, 2025 at 7:42 PM
edstern.bsky.social
I mean, if we’re showing off our Writer Art concept assets…

Yeah, stick figures are more than fine.
AI slop is worse than nothing.
Very crude pen sketch of a demonic tree stump, a “Dire Log”, which is a rough homophone of “Dialogue”. This amused me at the time, but your mileage may and probably should vary. If anything an even cruder pen sketch of an electrical apparatus with a rotating potentiometer control, a visual needle and scale indicator and an alarmed-looking pig’s face on it. An, if you will, “Dial Hog”. Another pen sketch showing the blank featureless reverse of the previous demonic tree stump, titled “BACKLOG”. This was and remains an hilarious aperçu, possibly the funniest thing anyone has ever thought, let alone immortalised in ballpoint.
December 18, 2025 at 8:02 PM
edstern.bsky.social
The Island Of Dr MoreauHoHo
Photo of a grey dwarf hamster peering fiercely from a plush Santa/Reindeer pouch, the rodent protagonist’s mini-mammalian squeakery contrasting with the artificial stuffed antlers in a stark mockery of the laws of both nature and man.
December 18, 2025 at 5:47 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Barber a leeeetle bit keener than anticipated.
#ColdNeck
Selfie of Ed with rather shorter hair and beard than he had anticipated.
December 16, 2025 at 9:09 AM
edstern.bsky.social
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you’re using without explanation.
Odd looking photo of the back of a seal’s head looking up at the sky, making its whiskers look like the hair atop an angry face.
December 14, 2025 at 6:42 PM
edstern.bsky.social
VERY much that kind of day.
Photo of some rather battered chairs, such as could be found in an under-funded community hall. Nevertheless, they persist, keeping bums off floors, sometimes stacking when there are sufficient of any one type to form a tower-cohort. Keep on keeping on, old chairs.
December 7, 2025 at 6:37 PM
edstern.bsky.social
YOU SEE? IT’S ah actually nothing like ok sorry false alarm
Image of the Michel Granger’s cover art for Jean-Michel Jarre’s 1979 album “Oxygene”, picturing a human skull overlaying a fractured planet Earth, which doesn’t look nearly as similar to the previous O’Keefe painting as I’d hoped.
December 5, 2025 at 3:06 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Get in, loser. We’re going to cache some sunflower seeds.
Photo of a surprisingly determined-looking hamster resting upon a human hand.
December 2, 2025 at 8:06 PM
edstern.bsky.social
This, by @ianmcque.bsky.social and @rossignol.bsky.social, is one of the most beautiful things I own. It’s infuriatingly good.
Photo of artist Ian McQue’s gorgeous book “Mileships”
November 29, 2025 at 10:21 AM
edstern.bsky.social
An arse of a day so breaking out the big guns.
A cheering reminder that there’s also joy and excellence.
A screen grab showing a mobile app playing the “Miyazaki’s Spirited Away” episode of the Blank Check podcast.
November 25, 2025 at 7:18 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Photo of wet green artificial turf lying obliquely on various sodden brown wood chippings, forming a geometric image, like unto a damp national flag. Another photo of bright green artificial turf lying on brown damp muddy wood chippings, this time arrayed horizontally. The general impression is of a tissue-thin layer adorning a bottomless quagmire, as spiritual as literal. What even are we?
November 22, 2025 at 1:12 PM
edstern.bsky.social
At the winter fair.
A photo of muddy, wet metal planking.
November 22, 2025 at 12:28 PM
edstern.bsky.social
So I no longer comprehend maths for seven year olds.
A school poster demonstrating a subtraction sum with the “subtrahend” subtracted from the “minuend”, terms the author has never seen before and fears, as one would fear serpents, or being smote with fire.
November 19, 2025 at 11:11 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Bovril really did have some unbeatably Victorian weird-grim advertising slogans. I somehow get Alan Moore vibes off these.
Nineteenth Century advertising image reading “THE TWO INFALLIBLE POWERS: THE POPE & BOVRIL” Nineteenth Century advertising image proclaiming “BOVRIL BY ELECTROCUTION” portraying two stupefied oxen about to be electrocuted by men in frock coats, somehow in human-shaped electric chairs. Advertising image proclaiming “The important thing is IT MUST BE BOVRIL…Bovril is British to the Backbone”
November 15, 2025 at 2:18 PM
edstern.bsky.social
Bovril Castle, OBVIOUSLY.
Photo of a blue plaque on a stone building, reading “John Lawson Johnston 1839-1900 Inventor of Bovril Owned and lived here at 'Bovril castle' Kingswood House” Photo of Bovril Castle, a fairly grand stone building in a severe Victorian neo-Gothic style.
November 15, 2025 at 10:28 AM