I draw smut and nothing. I draw memes and nothing. i think at some point it just means that i suck and don't deserve to be seen. which doesn't correlate with what I'm getting told in person.
so i guess I'm being lied to. and should just give up.

it won't come, so might as well get my shit done as is.
if i feel pain always anyways i might as well choose how and where and what pain I'm feeling.