Look for wet t-shirt contests at the Kennedy Center. Coming soon!

Don’t buy stuff on February 28. Money’s the only thing these dicks understand.
#resist

Murphy: "Let's not pull any punches about why this is happening. Elon Musk makes billions off of his business with China. And China is cheering at this action today. There is no question that the billionaire class trying to take over our govt right now is doing it based on self-interest."

Bueno

How do you say, "gosh, we're really sorry, like, really really sorry, yeah, we know he's a total dumbass," in Danish?

Better stock up on Columbian coffee now, before President Asshat's war starts.

If we don't protect our neighbors, what the hell are we?

You guys need to see this and take it in…

Wise words from someone who is a target. And he’s been listening.

God bless the ACLfuckingU

Cecile Richards —may her name be for a blessing— has died at 67 from the inauguration. She did us a great service with her life.

It was never about the price of eggs. It’s always been about tribalism. They looked around, saw someone with a different skin color or gender or sexual orientation doing as well or better than they were, freaked out, blamed the price of eggs, and voted for Mr. Repulsive.

We're all reading it as "smellania," right?

Denmark, Canada, Panama, the whole of Europe, Ukraine, and etc: we normal Americans are really really really sorry. We're so sorry.

if this is wrong i don't wanna be right

I just upgraded my iphone, and I'm delighted with the built-in "journaling" app and its recent suggestion that I take a moment to recall my "afternoon outing to McDonald's in Waynesville, NC." Today, I'll be writing about the fact that Trump has chosen me to be his Ambassador to Fast Food Nation.

If I were Elon Musk and I was trying to make government efficient, I'd dismantle Social Security right quick. But I'm not Elon Musk. I have a soul.