Mit Fakename
@electromit.bsky.social
Pay attention, I probably don't know what I'm doing...
Imagine your dad being a minotaur and your mom being a mermaid and you wind up with both of their human features. You're just some guy!
January 10, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Imagine your dad being a minotaur and your mom being a mermaid and you wind up with both of their human features. You're just some guy!
Not all of your life decisions need to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value
January 6, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Not all of your life decisions need to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value
I hate when my anxiety gives me sweats and chest pain and an upset tummy. It's like, "Dude, you're a MENTAL disorder! Stay in your own lane!"
January 3, 2026 at 7:07 PM
I hate when my anxiety gives me sweats and chest pain and an upset tummy. It's like, "Dude, you're a MENTAL disorder! Stay in your own lane!"
My Friend: "I broke my leg in 3 places."
Me: " Then don't go to those places."
Me: " Then don't go to those places."
January 2, 2026 at 5:21 PM
My Friend: "I broke my leg in 3 places."
Me: " Then don't go to those places."
Me: " Then don't go to those places."
Happy New Year, may your 2026 be full of days.
January 2, 2026 at 6:24 AM
Happy New Year, may your 2026 be full of days.
Why are all of the alarm sounds on my phone "Circus Music Played By Chidren" or "What If Enya Were The Cops?"
January 1, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Why are all of the alarm sounds on my phone "Circus Music Played By Chidren" or "What If Enya Were The Cops?"
One major problem I have is that younger me didn't account for the fact that there would be an older me.
December 31, 2025 at 8:04 PM
One major problem I have is that younger me didn't account for the fact that there would be an older me.
I'm not completely useless...
I can be used as a bad example.
I can be used as a bad example.
December 28, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I'm not completely useless...
I can be used as a bad example.
I can be used as a bad example.
Wait, you're telling me Jesus died for me? That's kind of manipulative.
What's worse is he didn't stay dead, so we can throw gaslighting in the mix, too!
What's worse is he didn't stay dead, so we can throw gaslighting in the mix, too!
December 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Wait, you're telling me Jesus died for me? That's kind of manipulative.
What's worse is he didn't stay dead, so we can throw gaslighting in the mix, too!
What's worse is he didn't stay dead, so we can throw gaslighting in the mix, too!
There's been a horrible success at the accident factory.
December 27, 2025 at 6:45 PM
There's been a horrible success at the accident factory.
No offense to myself but what the actual fuck am I doing??
December 23, 2025 at 6:43 AM
No offense to myself but what the actual fuck am I doing??
My God is not some old man in the sky. To me, God is a metaphor for a mystery that completely transcends all categories of human thought, including being and non being.
But that's too many words to describe flipping a coin.
But that's too many words to describe flipping a coin.
December 21, 2025 at 7:33 PM
My God is not some old man in the sky. To me, God is a metaphor for a mystery that completely transcends all categories of human thought, including being and non being.
But that's too many words to describe flipping a coin.
But that's too many words to describe flipping a coin.
My favorite hobby is to stay up late and think about things I have absolutely no control over for 3 or 4 hours.
December 21, 2025 at 7:21 PM
My favorite hobby is to stay up late and think about things I have absolutely no control over for 3 or 4 hours.
First, I was born.
Later: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Which brings us to now
Later: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Which brings us to now
December 20, 2025 at 9:50 PM
First, I was born.
Later: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Which brings us to now
Later: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Which brings us to now
I came.
I saw.
I left early.
I saw.
I left early.
December 20, 2025 at 9:06 PM
I came.
I saw.
I left early.
I saw.
I left early.
I once crossed the DNA of a cheetah and a crab...
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
December 19, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I once crossed the DNA of a cheetah and a crab...
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
I am UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait, no...
UNSTABLE!
That's the one.
Wait, no...
UNSTABLE!
That's the one.
December 17, 2025 at 9:29 PM
I am UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait, no...
UNSTABLE!
That's the one.
Wait, no...
UNSTABLE!
That's the one.
"Fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing.
Logically, "fat chance" should mean something very likely, right? Nope! "Fat" and "slim" mean the same thing in this case.
Yep, I don't understand it either.
Logically, "fat chance" should mean something very likely, right? Nope! "Fat" and "slim" mean the same thing in this case.
Yep, I don't understand it either.
December 17, 2025 at 4:34 PM
"Fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing.
Logically, "fat chance" should mean something very likely, right? Nope! "Fat" and "slim" mean the same thing in this case.
Yep, I don't understand it either.
Logically, "fat chance" should mean something very likely, right? Nope! "Fat" and "slim" mean the same thing in this case.
Yep, I don't understand it either.
May I compare thee to a sunset?
It's EVERY fucking day with you!
It's EVERY fucking day with you!
December 17, 2025 at 1:55 AM
May I compare thee to a sunset?
It's EVERY fucking day with you!
It's EVERY fucking day with you!
My body is a MACHINE that can make any normal conversation into an awkward one.
December 15, 2025 at 9:23 PM
My body is a MACHINE that can make any normal conversation into an awkward one.
Sometimes, I tell people, "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are," and watch their facial expression change as they try to determine whether or not it was a compliment.
December 14, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Sometimes, I tell people, "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are," and watch their facial expression change as they try to determine whether or not it was a compliment.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to phish and he'll steal your debit PIN.
Teach a man to phish and he'll steal your debit PIN.
December 12, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to phish and he'll steal your debit PIN.
Teach a man to phish and he'll steal your debit PIN.
The inventor of the doorbell clearly didn't have a dog.
December 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
The inventor of the doorbell clearly didn't have a dog.
This year, at family Christmas gatherings, I'm going to play the Grindr notification sound and watch the conservative family members try to silence it.
December 9, 2025 at 9:33 PM
This year, at family Christmas gatherings, I'm going to play the Grindr notification sound and watch the conservative family members try to silence it.
The end of the world already happened when the dinosaurs were wiped out. We're the post-apocalyptic monsters.
December 9, 2025 at 5:45 PM
The end of the world already happened when the dinosaurs were wiped out. We're the post-apocalyptic monsters.