things overheard at elementary school
@elementaryschool.bsky.social
just a teacher trying to stay sane
me: "what month are you most looking forward to in 2026?"
student: "uhhh.... 2028?"
student: "uhhh.... 2028?"
January 5, 2026 at 3:46 PM
me: "what month are you most looking forward to in 2026?"
student: "uhhh.... 2028?"
student: "uhhh.... 2028?"
"what does yin and yang mean?"
"uhhh... the master who has control of white and black?"
"uhhh... the master who has control of white and black?"
December 19, 2025 at 3:34 PM
"what does yin and yang mean?"
"uhhh... the master who has control of white and black?"
"uhhh... the master who has control of white and black?"
"When it's a new moon, where did the other moon go?"
December 15, 2025 at 3:45 PM
"When it's a new moon, where did the other moon go?"
"I have a big problem. I forgot my iPad at home, so I can't read about Jesus."
December 5, 2025 at 3:22 PM
"I have a big problem. I forgot my iPad at home, so I can't read about Jesus."
me: "please walk in the hallway!"
student, in all seriousness: "I'm a HORSE."
student, in all seriousness: "I'm a HORSE."
December 4, 2025 at 6:37 PM
me: "please walk in the hallway!"
student, in all seriousness: "I'm a HORSE."
student, in all seriousness: "I'm a HORSE."
student: "OK, famous people from Mexico are Frida Kahlo, the president, and Jorge."
me: "who's Jorge?"
student: "just Jorge."
me: "who's Jorge?"
student: "just Jorge."
November 25, 2025 at 3:06 PM
student: "OK, famous people from Mexico are Frida Kahlo, the president, and Jorge."
me: "who's Jorge?"
student: "just Jorge."
me: "who's Jorge?"
student: "just Jorge."
teacher: "who can name the seasons?"
student: "THANKSGIVING!!!!"
student: "THANKSGIVING!!!!"
November 21, 2025 at 6:33 PM
teacher: "who can name the seasons?"
student: "THANKSGIVING!!!!"
student: "THANKSGIVING!!!!"
me: "please don't eat the sharpied grape."
student: "but won't it give me quadruple super powers?"
student: "but won't it give me quadruple super powers?"
November 21, 2025 at 4:35 PM
me: "please don't eat the sharpied grape."
student: "but won't it give me quadruple super powers?"
student: "but won't it give me quadruple super powers?"
me: "The Mexican flag has a snake that represents Mexico's enemies."
student: "When can we FIGHT?!"
student: "When can we FIGHT?!"
November 18, 2025 at 3:43 PM
me: "The Mexican flag has a snake that represents Mexico's enemies."
student: "When can we FIGHT?!"
student: "When can we FIGHT?!"
"Math in the United States is not the most rational subject."
November 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
"Math in the United States is not the most rational subject."
"let me tell you about all of my pets. first I had a parrot. then a worm. then a bunny. then a cat. then a caterpillar. the caterpillar and the worm are dead."
November 13, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"let me tell you about all of my pets. first I had a parrot. then a worm. then a bunny. then a cat. then a caterpillar. the caterpillar and the worm are dead."
4th grader, Moroccan, spoken with a French accent, lamenting about the sugar content in breakfasts: "Americans only like salt and sugar. Do you not like sour?! BRO."
November 10, 2025 at 5:16 PM
4th grader, Moroccan, spoken with a French accent, lamenting about the sugar content in breakfasts: "Americans only like salt and sugar. Do you not like sour?! BRO."
me: "what do you like to do at recess?"
student: "we like to go on a mission... to find... A ONION!"
other student: "yeah, for our sushi restaurant!"
student: "we like to go on a mission... to find... A ONION!"
other student: "yeah, for our sushi restaurant!"
October 30, 2025 at 5:02 PM
me: "what do you like to do at recess?"
student: "we like to go on a mission... to find... A ONION!"
other student: "yeah, for our sushi restaurant!"
student: "we like to go on a mission... to find... A ONION!"
other student: "yeah, for our sushi restaurant!"
Teacher: “When I send you off, you’re going to…”
Student, under their breath: “Pee yourself. In your pants.”
Student, under their breath: “Pee yourself. In your pants.”
October 29, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Teacher: “When I send you off, you’re going to…”
Student, under their breath: “Pee yourself. In your pants.”
Student, under their breath: “Pee yourself. In your pants.”
student taking a math test this morning: "no one will know if you give me the answers..." me: "you're right, but I have integrity." student: "awww man, I thought that would work!"
October 27, 2025 at 1:31 PM
student taking a math test this morning: "no one will know if you give me the answers..." me: "you're right, but I have integrity." student: "awww man, I thought that would work!"
this was supposed to be an essay
turned into accidental poetry
turned into accidental poetry
October 14, 2025 at 2:08 PM
this was supposed to be an essay
turned into accidental poetry
turned into accidental poetry
"Who can tell me what kidnapping means?"
"It's when you get TOOKEN!"
"It's when you get TOOKEN!"
October 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
"Who can tell me what kidnapping means?"
"It's when you get TOOKEN!"
"It's when you get TOOKEN!"
8 yo posing as an 80 yo: "MAN, I love McDonald's apple pies. And if you get a coffee to go with it, dip it in a little, perfect."
October 8, 2025 at 7:08 PM
8 yo posing as an 80 yo: "MAN, I love McDonald's apple pies. And if you get a coffee to go with it, dip it in a little, perfect."
"I need my natural liquid."
"It's called WATER."
"It's called WATER."
October 7, 2025 at 2:00 PM
"I need my natural liquid."
"It's called WATER."
"It's called WATER."
(9yo to 9yo, no adults in the hallway) "ANNA! Go back, try again. You were running the whole hallway. Literally."
September 25, 2025 at 3:23 PM
(9yo to 9yo, no adults in the hallway) "ANNA! Go back, try again. You were running the whole hallway. Literally."
"We're not friends anymore. We're BFFs!"
September 18, 2025 at 4:29 PM
"We're not friends anymore. We're BFFs!"
"How am I supposed to find the missing digits? This is BALONEY."
September 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
"How am I supposed to find the missing digits? This is BALONEY."
Yet another day of testing.
May 2, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Yet another day of testing.
"what does luxury mean?"
"it means closed windows and lights and everything."
"it means closed windows and lights and everything."
May 1, 2025 at 2:26 PM
"what does luxury mean?"
"it means closed windows and lights and everything."
"it means closed windows and lights and everything."