Elise Kramer
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elisekramer.bsky.social
Elise Kramer
@elisekramer.bsky.social
440 followers 160 following 33 posts
Linguistic anthropologist @ UIUC.
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elisekramer.bsky.social
Then I did some actual physics calculations. And I concluded with some very compelling images.

I think we can safely assume that my gym teacher never actually read this paper, because I did not get referred to the school psychologist.
Despite all of these factors which would lead to a lower jump, the low gravity would more than account for the differences. The following is a simple physics explanation of how to determine how high the highest high jump would be if it took place on Pluto: Assuming that what is constant is the amount of potential energy, mgh, which the jumper can create, then the height attained is inversely proportional to the acceleration of gravity on the planet's surface, g. Since g on Pluto is one sixth that of Earth, we can assume that the jumper would be able to jump six times as high on Pluto as on Earth. However, since the mass of the jumper on Pluto would be approximately doubled due to the mass of the spacesuit which he must wear to prevent his brain from dribbling out of his ears, and since h is inversely proportional to the total mass of the jumper, we can assume that the jumper would be able to reach a height three times that which would be attainable on Earth. Therefore, the highest jump ever, which is 2.45 meters, attained in 1993 by Javier Sotomayer, would be approximately 7.35 meters on Pluto. Of course, it would most likely be lower than that, due to problems discussed earlier in the paper. It is impossible to predict the future, but you can pay someone $20 dollars to do it for you. (Photos of astronauts with high jump bars badly photoshopped into the background)
November 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Of course, I then delved into specifics. If I had to write a paper about the high jump, then gosh darn it, I was going to incorporate actual information about the high jump.
There are the obvious differences. Because Pluto is so far away from the sun, it would be very dark and very cold. It would be necessary to set up large stadium lights and heaters. Of course, the problem we run into here is where to plug these lights and heaters in. Surely there are outlets here and there, but are they connected to anything? Is there an electric company on Pluto? And even if there is, are the outlets polar or nonpolar? In addition, the atmosphere of Pluto is not safe for humans to survive in. Because of this, the competitors would have to compete in large, bulky, extremely heavy space suits. This would not only weigh them down considerably; it would interfere with the running and jumping motions as well. Also, the soles of the space suit boots are well over the regulation ½ inch thickness. This cannot be changed. If the soles were any thinner, it might result in a leak, which would result in your brains dribbling out of your head through your ears. Pluto is a very small planet. There is very little gravity. This allows the jumpers to jump higher. However, it also affects the approach. The Fosbury Flop makes use of a J-shaped approach. You must run this approach swiftly, with long strides. With less gravity, you would have no trouble taking long strides, but since you fall back to earth more slowly after each step, you would not be able to run as fast. Therefore, you would not have as much momentum by the time you reached the pole, twisted your hip around the inside as your leading foot left the ground, and jumped up into the air. You would also a lot less maneuverability with the bulky suit on. The high jumpers on Earth can clear the bar with only millimeters between, but if you were wearing a space suit, it would be much easier to knock the bar down by accident. Also, there is always the risk of breaking your helmet and decapitating yourself when you land on your neck and upper back on the mat.
November 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
elisekramer.bsky.social
The final article in our special issue, by Max Yamane, is now available early! doi.org/10.1017/sas....
“Songs to Soothe a Mother”: Chronotopes of Gender in Kiowa War Mother Songs | Signs and Society | Cambridge Core
“Songs to Soothe a Mother”: Chronotopes of Gender in Kiowa War Mother Songs
doi.org
November 18, 2025 at 4:33 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Aww, it was a joy to work with you!
November 6, 2025 at 6:00 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Our (with @cat-tebaldi.bsky.social) introduction to the special issue is now available! www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
Introduction to “Chronotopes of Gender” | Signs and Society | Cambridge Core
Introduction to “Chronotopes of Gender”
www.cambridge.org
November 6, 2025 at 3:32 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
NYTimes finally realizing that sometimes "women" isn't the most precise term for what you intend to refer to
November 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
I'm starting to realize I should have been a bit more strategic(!) in my use of "strategic" — I don't necessarily think it's a conscious decision on the part of individuals. It's strategic from the perspective of the ideology, I suppose?
November 6, 2025 at 2:46 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
And I wish I could have cited your article in mine! It's like The Gift of the Magi but for academics.
November 1, 2025 at 2:49 AM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Also part of the special issue and now available:

@cat-tebaldi.bsky.social on tradwives doi.org/10.1017/sas....

@katrinadalythompson.com on Swahili-language Islamic marital advice doi.org/10.1017/sas....

Wei Wei and Alexandra Georgakopoulou on Chinese beauty influencers doi.org/10.1017/sas....
October 29, 2025 at 7:07 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Also: "Not great, Bob"; "That's rough, buddy" (I was not familiar with that one but my students were); and even Jack Nicholson's reappropriation of "Here's Johnny!"
April 9, 2025 at 9:29 PM
elisekramer.bsky.social
Here's the table of contents:
The table of contents for the special issue of Discourse Studies "Scaling Stories"
March 15, 2025 at 11:37 PM