Ellis Merel
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ellismerel.bsky.social
Ellis Merel
@ellismerel.bsky.social
13 followers 5 following 2 posts
Writer and artist from the Central Valley. Enjoyer of good soup 🥣
they/them
https://ellismerel.carrd.co/
https://someofmysoup.carrd.co/
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ellismerel.bsky.social
By the way, after last weekend's general conference and a particular few talks from such, I hope those of you fellow exmo's still in contact with TBM family have been taking good care of yourselves. I had to write out my own thoughts about one to keep sane. Be safe, friends. #exmormon #exmo #poetry
A screenshot of the following text, one of two: You wanna see what my insides look like? I promise ⁠— I’m not as pretty as you would like on the inside. Make a deal with the devil for a celestial promise ⁠— live by his iron chains and gather the souls of a thousand evil men to make yourself once again holy. Pretend you do not see stain on the linens in which you rest. Pretend you do not hear the warnings that the devil arrives as your desires. Pretend you truly would see his horns and forked tongue from perdition. Pretend your years of servitude mean anything more than years on earth that cannot be traded back. Pretend there is no life after loss. It will always be so much easier to live beneath the devil you know. It will always be easier to believe you can achieve perfection with enough blood. It will always be easier than acceptance that flaws make us no less precious. A screenshot of the following text, two of two: You will not lose me. You will not lose those you love after death. Those temples cannot offer you eternal glory. It is here, eternity surrounds you, woven into each moment of change and ineffable life. You grieve a loss before it comes, weep of an ending others threaten, wait restlessly for apocalypse of our own making and swearing it is the will of your god, leaning on the promise of heaven to avoid repairing the hell your devils crafted here. This world has proven time and again that life persists against human odds. I have proven time and again that your books and bishops grow septic when forcefully injected. You will be marked a murderer upon my death in your own heart as you rot waiting for exaltation while I still wait with halted breath for you to remember that I am still here, still needing a mother.
October 7, 2023 at 12:17 PM
ellismerel.bsky.social
decided it would be healing to rewrite the lyrics of what used to be my favorite church hymn. and i was right #exmo #exmormon
A screenshot of the following text: Mind kindly light, amid th’ encircling gloom Steadfast, shines on The night is dark, and I am far from home Still, light shines on Keep true my feet, I do not ask to see The distant scene, one step enough for me I bowed my head in midnight years, but now Light prompts me on I failed to see the shroud of shame, but now Light guides me on The iron rod kept all the world a place of fear Bonds ruled my will, remember not past years So long love’s fault has pained me, sure it still Fosters me on O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, ‘til The night is gone And with the light of morn those radiant faces smile Fated to love, though only known for a while A screenshot of the following text: Lead Kindly Light / Lyrics Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom Lead thou me on The night is dark, and I am far from home Lead thou me on Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see The distant scene, one step enough for me I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou Shouldst lead me on I loved to choose, and see my path but now Lead thou me on I loved the garish day, and spite of fears Pride ruled my will, remember not past years So long thy power hath blest me, sure it still Will lead me on O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till The night is gone And with the morn those angel faces smile Which I have loved long since and lost a while
October 7, 2023 at 12:11 PM