I'm not sure why I keep coming back to FictionPress knowing that almost all of my reviews will be spam bots which casts a large shadow over the few genuine reviewers, forever obscuring them in a dubious existence.

The most comforting thing you could possibly hear from a handyman fixing the ceiling is: "Whoops, that's not supposed to happen."

My famous last words to my coworker who's two years away from retirement and witnessed way too much: "Are you like this because your life is the way it is, or is your life the way it is because you're like this?"

I learned that Kitchen Nightmares has new seasons! Gems so far:

* Fernandes: you're a true bro to all diners, and the sass is chef's kiss.

@rustylake.com, I don't know if the game wants me to use the knife or not, but I think it really wants me to use the knife again.

The #FinalFantasyVIII amnesia plot twist sucks, but not for the reason you think.

It sucks only because that information is in one of the learning terminals that are placed throughout Garden, which you can access well before the reveal.

So I've finally decided to listen to more of AJR's songs besides "Smallest Violin," and I'm just like, "These songs reflect so much of my life that I think they may owe me royalties or something."

In our current political [U.S.] climate, I often think about this guy who doubted that Mel Brooks "really hate[s]" Nazis. I also think about the five who liked that comment

Like how do you even break it to someone, who you're unsure if they're joking or not, that Oscar Wilde was gay?

lol

"According to plan" is #writing shorthand for "this character is totally evil and foreshadowing"

Everyone goes on about how the endingof #KingdomHeartsII is beautiful, emotional, and cathartic. Meanwhile, I can't stop thinking about Riku's thumb which ruins it for me now.

I have nothing against prologues or anyone who #writes a prologue in their very first draft. But for me, it's just not really my thing.

I only add in prologues to convey exposition that doesn't make sense to be anywhere else, foreshadow, suspend disbelief, or a mix of the above. 1/?

Shari Franke's #TheHouseOfMyMother is an absolute must on any reading list!!

Reasons Why I'm Not a Professional #Writer:

I could neither think of a synonym for "consumer" nor remember the thing to look it up in is called a "thesaurus."

I hate when the best fix for a pacing issue in the first chapter is to just split the chapter into two but then have to renumber the subsequent thirty-five chapters.

This is probably why I don't pursue #writing professionally.