i would do just about anything either of them asked of me, which is giving either of them far more power than they should have, but i just hurt so much from their both leaving.

everyone i have ever loved abandons me

it took all of 3 or 4 weeks after reconnecting for her to start the same old habits she'd always had, and for her to start crossing red lines that i ignored.

in the long term, this will probably be good for me. but it still hurts so much to lose a friend you loved, and to lose her like this. :(

this is incredible omg

genuinely so much more true than any of us want it to be! hunger and thirst and poor sleep are such hideous amplifiers on an already powderkeg brain

i still have crazy bitch moments but they're so much milder and less frequent, and i know how to identify them as they're coming on and prep to weather my own storms without dragging other people into it

and it's a lot to get a handle on at first, but seriously, working on getting better with my BPD is sincerely the among the two best emotional investments i have ever made, on par with starting HRT.

it's so much more manageable if you just work at actually managing it for a few months :/ like it's not easy but it's very doable to reduce your severity and it's so worth it to feel better and be less unstable all the time

taken from us too soon