okay so hallucinating one Family member saying "i hate you" is chill but also chill i guess functionally i heard another Family member saying that but it was a different kind of hallucination/delusion, much more frequent, "hearing" (interpreting) someone saying something when im just out of ear shot

Anyway I'll do better next time. It's valuable even at my ripe old age to learn from things like this and keep trying harder. Next time there's this sort of situation I obviously should say "I'm good thanks," or something like that.

Now I can meditate.

In other words acted like a fucking asshole. And what probably made it worse is that I wasn't carrying myself like an asshole, I was calm and friendly -- but from his perspective I didn't give a shit about him and responded to his friendly greeting with "can I get a Powerball."

So fucking cringe.

Now, someone who knows how to navigate social situations like a normal human being would assume he was responding to the exchange we just had and was asking how I am. We're generally friendly and everything. I shorted out and just asked for a lotto ticket cuz I didn't hear/understand.

For tonight, it's not understanding basic plain language stuff today at work, as well as the following interaction with the clerk at 711 just now. I said hi, asked how he was doing. I'm like slightly hard of hearing or something plus struggle with accents, so when he responded I didn't clearly hear.