The first thing I saw online this morning was someone comparing vegan eggs with blackface and I think I'm done with the Internet today, thanks.

My 5yo says he's half vegetarian.

I wasn't aware that was an option.

I was grocery shopping with both kids and a woman approached me. She told me I was the calmest and most respectful parent she has seen in a long time.

I guess she missed the part when I told the kids I'd ram the cart into them if they didn't take more than a micro step forward.

I grunt when I'm lifting weights (yeah, I know, but at least I do it at home so no one has to hear me). Today, I realized that rather than emitting the last rep number of each set, I'm grunting "good job" to myself. Nice self-talk, me!

My small child tonight at bedtime: "Nothing will break our love".

😭

Happy Friday Pie Day to all who celebrate.

My 5yo just had a minor choking incident because "popcorn went down the vegetable hole".