Remove your blindfold

It was a kumquat

This is why I follow you

For this previously unmentioned knowledge that only a true football hipster would know

Or, read more than just the headline and see that there are record cases for this time of year

Far too many people ignoring simple advice, that was law only a few years ago, to stay at home if you're ill

It was up there with the one he just passed out for a throw in

Nah, I don't really bet

He's a candidate for top ten biggest knobheads in football ever

Definitely an opportunity for a third on the break

In all other circumstances (e.g. holding, pulling, pushing, no possibility to play the ball etc.), the offending player must be sent off

The only way around it is if the ref claimed it wasn't an obvious scoring opportunity

Nope

Where a player commits an offence against an opponent within their own penalty area which denies an opponent an obvious goal-scoring opportunity and the referee awards a penalty kick, the offender is cautioned if the offence was an attempt to play the ball or a challenge for the ball

Nah, double jeopardy doesn't apply when there's no attempt to play the ball

Set piece FC

It always feels like the bit about the Yankees and the stripes from catch me if you can

Or standing up

We seem to be struggling to do the basic things like controlling the ball

Given up possession far too easily a few times already