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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 10h

I've realised what that delicious taste is in so many of my favourite processed snacks. It's MSG. And this is a thing you can buy. I just had fried eggs and sausages with some MSG and this is probably what sucking God's cock tastes like.

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Dan Fixes Coin-Ops @ifixcoinops.retro.social.ap.brid.gy · 11h

Fucking up a radiator job so wildly that I've got transmission fluid in my hair

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 10h

Whenever you see making-of videos of documentaries, the camera crew always seem to have lovely shiny new cameras. There's never a scratched camera covered in duct tape. Is that because they deliberately get all-new equipment when they know they're going to be recording the recording?

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 16h

@Mastodon I hate this idea. I like Mastodon because it's NOT like corporate social media.

Having an empty timeline until you find people to follow is not a problem that needs solving; people are just too used to being spoon fed by the algorithm.

If you add this feature, please allow people to […]

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Christine Burns MBE 🏳️‍⚧️📚⧖ @christineburns.mastodon.green.ap.brid.gy · 18h

If you’re a pound shop politician desperately angling for populist clout by claiming you’ve seen no white faces in some place you visited then I have some advice: If that’s truly what you’ve observed then it’s not evidence that BME migrants don’t “integrate”. It’s evidence that the whites won’t […]

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 22h

[Dream]

I dreamed last night that a new Viking myth was discovered. Thor wanted to move one of Freya's sheep out of his way, so he picked it up and carried it. He didn't pay attention to how he was holding it, and he touched its knob and basically wanked it off a bit. Being knob-fondled by a […]

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 1d

Updated a spreadsheet at work and thought 'damn, this formula is clever... Wait, I wrote this? Damn, I'm good.'

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 1d

Coins are technically cylinders, as they're not 2D. They're just very short cylinders. If you buy sausages and pay in coins, you and the shopkeeper are just swapping cylinders.

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 2d

I dreamed last night that there was some kind of environmental problem that could only be fixed using the DNA from specific dinosaur. (It was some kind of sauropod with short spikes on its back. Saltosaurus?) Humanity had to petition Mother Nature to resurrect this dinosaur briefly so we could […]

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 2d

A delivery van arrived at work and it started alarming, playing a klaxon and a recording saying 'Driver is in distress, call the police'. Meanwhile the driver was getting increasingly irate trying to turn it off. I assume there was some sort of dead man's switch he didn't press.

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 2d

My mum is applying for a thing online, and she needs to upload 6 documents. But the website doesn't tell you what formats it will and won't accept, and if you get it wrong it throws them all out and you have to upload them all again. UI designer needs a paddling.

Reposted by Toilet full of bugs

Dan Fixes Coin-Ops @ifixcoinops.retro.social.ap.brid.gy · 2d

nobody here has a normal relationship with technology

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 2d

I dreamed last night that men (but not women) had scent glands on their bums (a bit like a dog's) and they were considered rude enough to be censored. Like, if there was a photo of a man's naked bum, there would have to be a couple of little censor dots, like censoring the nipples on a picture […]

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

#silksong hot take: crafting with shards should be abolished. Keep the shards in the game as a currency for upgrades or whatever, but remove the need for them to replenish tools. Having to take a break from fighting a boss to go and grind for shards is just busy work.

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

Rabbit in a rabbit record shop: I would like to buy some R&B, by which I mean Rabbits & Bunnies, because we're rabbits.
Rabbit record shopkeep: I know, I am also a rabbit.

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

Mango is so stupid. Mum put food in his bowl and then put the bowl on the floor - instead of the other way around. He didn't believe there was food in his bowl, because he hadn't seen it go in. Mum had to put a few biscuits on top so he'd see food going in.

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

It made the local news lmao https://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/stinky-surrey-sainsburys-mystifying-shoppers-32594711

Promise to freshen up 'stinky' Surrey Sainsbury's that is mystifying shoppers

The smell has been described as 'like death'

www.getsurrey.co.uk

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

I am a frugivorous ape and I need to vore a fruge.

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

I caught a bunch of ocean fish and thought I'd store them in a rocky cavern to keep them cool and fresh. Unfortunately my fish were all eaten by bats, and there was none left for me. Turns out you can't cave your hake and eat it too.

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

'Buibui' is Swahili for spider. 'Bui' is how Japanese people transcribe a pig noise. So from a Japanese person's perspective, Swahili speakers call spiders 'oink-oinks'.

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 3d

Americans say 'bumper sticker' even though they call bumpers 'fenders'. Why don't they call them 'fender stickers'?

Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 4d

I think part of the reason native English speakers are so crap at other languages is that we start learning it too late. My school didn't start teaching us French until year 6 (ages 10 and 11). Meanwhile, everyone else watches kids' telly in English from baby ages.

Reposted by Toilet full of bugs

Bruce Lawson ✅ ♫ ♿ ✌️♂️✊ @brucelawson.vivaldi.net.ap.brid.gy · 4d

Happy Anniversary of the Battle of Cable Street, to all decent people.

Plaque "THE BATTLE OF CABLE STREET
The people of East London rallied to Cable Street on the 4th October 1936 and forced back the march of the fascist
Oswald Mosley and his Blackshirts through the streets of the East End.
"THEY SHALL NOT PASS""

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 5d

The prefix 'a' means a lack or absence of. Aseptic means not septic.

Therefore, everything not an animal is a nimal. An animal is defined by its lack of nimality.

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Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph.topspicy.social.ap.brid.gy · 5d

The discrepancy between Skibidi Toilet the source material and its merch is really odd to me. The target audience for the series appears to be adult/teen nerds who are going to rewatch episodes frame-by-frame trying to piece together the lore. DFB wouldn't bother to include all these hidden […]

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