Erik Johnson
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erikjwithak.bsky.social
Erik Johnson
@erikjwithak.bsky.social
Introvert + Writer + Coffeeholic = Awkward Dork. WSET Level 3 wine educator. SMU Mustang. All You Need is Love. And Hockey.
My life summed up in one sentence: “That sure didn’t go as planned.”
April 20, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Helpful tech support hint: When your computer is acting up just yell at it to Megabyte Me. Works every time. Follow me for more IT support tips.
April 20, 2025 at 12:34 AM
There is this girl in our astronomy club who is so melodramatic. She is such an Andromeda queen.
April 19, 2025 at 5:15 PM
The Keurig machine in the office took *forever* to fill my cup. Googling how to check its prostate.
April 19, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Coffee and wine are my life coaches. Coffee is there for a pat on the ass "Go get 'em, we can do this." And then wine is like, "You'll get 'em tomorrow. You gave it a good shot."
April 19, 2025 at 12:48 PM
The awkward introvert's guide to speed dating:
Don’t overthink it. You’ll do that later. In bed. At 3:47am.
April 15, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Me: “We need to focus.”
Brain: What if dogs think we’re the pets?
April 15, 2025 at 12:47 PM
The awkward introvert’s version of interval training:
Make eye contact with someone across the room. Look away. Then accidentally look back. Repeat until death.
April 15, 2025 at 12:32 AM
You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.
April 14, 2025 at 10:45 PM
The journey of a thousand miles starts with checking to see if there will be wifi.
April 13, 2025 at 9:55 PM
When Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage, and all of the men and women are merely players” do you think he knew we were living in a simulation?
April 10, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Just like with lines at the grocery store, had a 50-50 chance on Wordle and picked the wrong one.

Wordle 1,389 3/6

🟩⬜🟩🟩🟩
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April 8, 2025 at 7:58 PM
I’m watching basketball. Just saw a player cross the half court line in front of his teammate who had the ball and for a split second thought they were going to call offsides.
March 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
I tried to think of a way to always have clean bed sheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.
March 28, 2025 at 5:14 PM
What a wonderful world this might be if we spent less time defending our honor and more time defending our relationships.
March 28, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Had to say it to myself 3 times already this morning: You’ll never know what worse luck your bad luck saved you from.
March 28, 2025 at 12:46 AM
“A bottle of wine is the ultimate distillation of time and place; a poetic expression of individuality itself.” ― Amor Towles
March 27, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Still waiting...
March 27, 2025 at 9:07 PM
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.“ – Kurt Vonnegut
March 27, 2025 at 5:41 PM
"What wine goes with Captain Crunch?"
-- George Carlin
March 27, 2025 at 1:53 AM
"Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul."
--Horace

#wine #quotes
March 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
You know which I prefer.
March 26, 2025 at 10:45 PM
"Where there is no wine there is no love."
--Euripides
March 26, 2025 at 9:01 PM
“WINE! Because these problems aren’t going to solve THEMSELVES!”
― Comic Strip Mama
March 26, 2025 at 5:19 PM
“If the women don’t find you handsome, at least they’ll find you handy.”
-Red Green
March 26, 2025 at 1:47 AM