I am, however, extremely pleased with the choice of relatively obscure Burkinabé copper miner Gilbert Zerbo as Vice Sexiest Man of the Year. He is a humble man, although I do not endorse his polygamous lifestyle.

Additionally, I await a good explanation as to why the previous Sexiest Men Alive are no longer sexier than John Krasinski. I’ve read the Charter of Sexy Men and nowhere in it is a mention of any kind of limit to the amount of terms that the Sexy Men can sexily serve.

Furthermore, he is always a celebrity from Western culture. Doesn’t it seem strange to you that such a tiny portion of the world’s population holds a monopoly on top sexiness?I don’t want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but this raises serious red flags!

While I am deeply honored to have even been considered (and I am indebted to all of my supporters) I must express some concerns with the voting process. It lacked transparency. I have yet to hear a good explanation as to why the Sexiest Man Alive always just happens to be a celebrity.