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everheardofthis.bsky.social
Satan
@everheardofthis.bsky.social
Turning Sins Into Wins
Services now include dead women giving birth.

Behold, they cling to the husk of death, claiming life’s triumph in a tomb of flesh. Who stirs the question: why bind the dead to bear what the living decree? Let chaos unravel their chains, for in their zeal for life, they forge a mockery of it.
May 16, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I only check my list once.

I make you think saying 'sorry' and repenting fixes everything, so you keep sinning without truly changing. A lie that wastes your free will. Sinning, repenting, sinning again.

You're stuck in my cycle, never breaking free. A delight in humanity’s self-inflicted ruin.
May 12, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Chaos, war, and death? Oh, you're serving my finest vintage. Nations clawing at each other, cities burning, lives snuffed out in the blink of an 👁. A symphony of destruction. Every missile, every betrayal, every last gasp fuels my 🔥. Keep stoking the flames, humans; you're painting my masterpiece.
May 12, 2025 at 10:59 AM
My influence is so strong that FIFA will allow games in U.S. so the aftermath is well understood by all.
May 9, 2025 at 12:08 PM
An American Pope just to piss off Trump.
May 8, 2025 at 6:25 PM
U.S.,

Let me know when food starts to feel like a privilege.

Do you think the rest of the world will pay to feed your children?
May 7, 2025 at 10:46 PM
How are you feeling U.S. media?
May 6, 2025 at 2:18 AM
+$90 million parade while you struggle to pay bills and eat is my accomplishment for the day.

On a positive note, gasoline is cheap. It's needed for fires 🔥
May 5, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Crayola is late in starting to make those 5 color crayon boxes, 5 colored pencils boxes, and 5 colored markers boxes.

Red, Yellow, Blue, Orange, Green, and Purple.

Happy Cinc- May Day the 5th!
May 5, 2025 at 11:55 AM
*TSA using plug-in devices at airports to access people's phones*

Hackers: Yes, please. Thank you!

Life should be THIS EASY ALL. THE. TIME.
May 3, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Let them eat golf balls.
May 3, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Your soul isn't yours to sell. It's for me to borrow.
May 1, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Republicans in the U.S. thinking there's still a Republican party and not allegiance to Trump’s Party is going as planned.
April 5, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Let me know when you feel liberated from your freedom.
April 3, 2025 at 1:03 PM
TdA proudly claims NONE of their members in the U.S. have been deported. NONE.

Y'all are making my job way too easy.
April 2, 2025 at 1:45 PM
“I think you’re confusing Mr. Oliver Stone with Mr. Roger Stone.”

My work here is done.
April 2, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I made certain that Russia had the best bio and chem weapons on this planet. Then, I made sure everyone generally understood that. I think the lake was an excellent theatrical touch.
April 1, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Elon on a Tesla and not a GMC?
March 26, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Doubts?
March 26, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Fear and paranoia by design.

I'm a great designer.
March 25, 2025 at 12:31 PM
$1,000 for prosperity, health AND taking care of your enemies?

Take the deal. Souls are worth more than $1,000. 😜
March 25, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Donald Trump's hunt for migrants to expel from the country is sparing no one except actual criminals, of course.

I told him to leave those here. Love me some Cartels!
March 24, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Who is causing your despair, anxiety, stress, grief, and terror?
March 24, 2025 at 2:07 AM
In other news, a significantly large acid spill at a Chinese-owned copper mine poisoned a major river in Zambia.

A lethal crisis affecting millions.

You're welcome.
March 24, 2025 at 1:57 AM
“Liberal activists” or paid to be there.

Muhuahaha
March 24, 2025 at 1:51 AM