Evan Allgood
@evoooooooooooo.bsky.social
Writer for The New Yorker, McSweeney's, The Believer, The Millions, The Novelizers, Current Affairs, Points in Case, Vol. 1 Brooklyn
https://www.evanallgood.com/
https://www.evanallgood.com/
Genuinely annoyed that no one told me this existed
December 4, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Genuinely annoyed that no one told me this existed
What's your dream Knives Out cast? I think this would be fun:
Meryl Streep
Patrick Stewart
Florence Pugh
A$AP Rocky
Marion Cotillard
Timothy Olyphant
Greta Lee
Matthew Rhys
John Hodgman (assisting Blanc)
Meryl Streep
Patrick Stewart
Florence Pugh
A$AP Rocky
Marion Cotillard
Timothy Olyphant
Greta Lee
Matthew Rhys
John Hodgman (assisting Blanc)
December 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
What's your dream Knives Out cast? I think this would be fun:
Meryl Streep
Patrick Stewart
Florence Pugh
A$AP Rocky
Marion Cotillard
Timothy Olyphant
Greta Lee
Matthew Rhys
John Hodgman (assisting Blanc)
Meryl Streep
Patrick Stewart
Florence Pugh
A$AP Rocky
Marion Cotillard
Timothy Olyphant
Greta Lee
Matthew Rhys
John Hodgman (assisting Blanc)
(Mitch Hedberg voice) That's a downtown newspaper box
November 25, 2025 at 5:17 AM
(Mitch Hedberg voice) That's a downtown newspaper box
Guy married to a woman half his age:
November 21, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Guy married to a woman half his age:
Brutus before and after you adopt him. This big mush has been waiting at Sean Casey Animal Rescue for months! He loves people, treats, and walks; other dogs, not so much
November 13, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Brutus before and after you adopt him. This big mush has been waiting at Sean Casey Animal Rescue for months! He loves people, treats, and walks; other dogs, not so much
Apropos of, uh, everything, here's a spoof toy ad by me and @jlongo.bsky.social for the latest edition of @currentaffairs.bsky.social
November 11, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Apropos of, uh, everything, here's a spoof toy ad by me and @jlongo.bsky.social for the latest edition of @currentaffairs.bsky.social
Thrilled to see @alejandrobot.com's sharp, original, funny, and yes, scary, slasher LAKE YELLOWWOOD SLAUGHTER out in the wild. Go pick it up!
November 1, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Thrilled to see @alejandrobot.com's sharp, original, funny, and yes, scary, slasher LAKE YELLOWWOOD SLAUGHTER out in the wild. Go pick it up!
Excerpts from my Hallowzine piece, "Don Draper Pitches Halloween Costumes" (edited and illustrated by @evanjohnstondesign.bsky.social). Get the zine to read the rest! www.etsy.com/listing/4389...
October 31, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Excerpts from my Hallowzine piece, "Don Draper Pitches Halloween Costumes" (edited and illustrated by @evanjohnstondesign.bsky.social). Get the zine to read the rest! www.etsy.com/listing/4389...
Lol at this grainy photo of Zohran that looks like it was pulled from security footage
October 22, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Lol at this grainy photo of Zohran that looks like it was pulled from security footage
My first Astoria sighting 😍
@birdcpk.bsky.social
@birdcpk.bsky.social
October 21, 2025 at 8:07 PM
My first Astoria sighting 😍
@birdcpk.bsky.social
@birdcpk.bsky.social
Me and the fellas trying to procure some basic personal hygiene products from Walgreens
October 4, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Me and the fellas trying to procure some basic personal hygiene products from Walgreens
This golden bachelor is Twinkie—a sweet, middle-aged gentleman who wants to romp around and play fetch. Adopt this lovable lug at Sean Casey Animal Rescue in Brooklyn
October 3, 2025 at 9:05 PM
This golden bachelor is Twinkie—a sweet, middle-aged gentleman who wants to romp around and play fetch. Adopt this lovable lug at Sean Casey Animal Rescue in Brooklyn
September 30. October 1.
October 1, 2025 at 5:19 PM
September 30. October 1.
Ladies, don't forget to show your man you appreciate him by giving him a Spider-Man costume on Friday
October 1, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Ladies, don't forget to show your man you appreciate him by giving him a Spider-Man costume on Friday
![Jeffrey Tambor on Arrested Development saying "I got the worst [bleep] opposition party"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:fvsfcr3vjx5kmhulychs7mlq/bafkreih2whsoxlbrlo4sweiahkejgbse3mjqlqbff5umz7r5xci3gukgwa@jpeg)
Rooney! One of the easiest dogs I've ever walked (even though he was really excited to get out there). Headstrong, wiggly little dude who loves butt scritches. Don't know why he's still at Sean Casey Animal Rescue, but go get him!
September 8, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Rooney! One of the easiest dogs I've ever walked (even though he was really excited to get out there). Headstrong, wiggly little dude who loves butt scritches. Don't know why he's still at Sean Casey Animal Rescue, but go get him!
Bernie! This handsome young fella at Sean Casey Animal Rescue is move-in-ready. He's friendly with everyone and walks very nicely on the leash
August 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Bernie! This handsome young fella at Sean Casey Animal Rescue is move-in-ready. He's friendly with everyone and walks very nicely on the leash
Skittles! Funny, friendly, squishy little guy. Snorts like a pig. He's been at Sean Casey Animal Rescue for a few months
August 15, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Skittles! Funny, friendly, squishy little guy. Snorts like a pig. He's been at Sean Casey Animal Rescue for a few months
Hilarious way to phrase this
August 10, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Hilarious way to phrase this
Wait why is no one talking about Ben Shapiro's hair plugs
August 2, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Wait why is no one talking about Ben Shapiro's hair plugs
*furiously mashes 'Show less like this' button*
July 20, 2025 at 3:06 PM
*furiously mashes 'Show less like this' button*