The corollary in my case

Wut? Wait. 'ang on. You mean it's even wrong to be invited to an island to film intimate congress now? Well, I for one will be ignoring the Landmark Trust's annual invitation to join them with my camera to film the guillemot breading season this year. Even birdwatching is woke these days.

Look. I'm not telling you again. That was my pint of Sheppeys. You get yer own

You mean like Salcombe in Devon?

Subwoofer in the boot of the Chinook?

Oh God. Not Rea........

Oh God! Not Reading 1987 again!

I mean, it's undoubtedly a lovely riposte, but I'm a bit worried that I might be a sleep paralysis demon

It's great, isn't it. Pop in, fire off something really childishly offensive and get out quick. Ooo. I feel so satisfied and yet really, really dirty

The nurse's name is Madeleine. Please stop calling her Grok

Bob Vylan?

Depends on how long the drill is compared to the thickness of the wall

also me to my toilet bowl, 26 December

What? You're human? Oh bugger!

..errr. Sorry. That's not a bike helmet. That's me front door bell. Now get off it and bugger off home

Before moanin about it will you please spare a thought for our farmers - the ones still alive from the second world war

Not sure I'd agree. We've got the top criminals already running our privatised utilities and look where that got us